The Foundation of Romance: Purpose & Alignment

Why Your Relationship Needs To Be Erotic and Fulfilling And How The Fuck To Do It

I’m noticing a trend in some of my recent ModPre discussions with friends, readers of the blog, and users of Twitter. The tendency being to either boldly declare that relationships don’t work, or to assume that if they are modeled exactly after the latest darling celebrity couple, or some impractical fantasy, they do. But I see very little in the way of fresh and actionable insight on how one would start to cultivate the type of relationship that’s truly satisfying.

So my take is as follows, the first key is realizing all great, fulfilling relationships require a ton of maintenance. This will dispel any soulmate oversimplifications, or cop outs of “I’m just not good at relationships.” The next step is understanding the only way your going to maintain a relationship is if your getting what you need — a romance that is erotic and fulfilling. Erotic in the sense that you can express yourself sexually and intimately in a playful, judgement free manner. Fulfilling in the sense that you feel supported, secure, and that both you and your partner are thriving and genuinely happy. If and only if this is cultivated and balanced, will one proactively feel the need to enthusiastically maintain and develop the beauty that is their relationship.

While corny and sappy, you get the point. What you don’t get, however, is how you can go from where you are now to this streamlined view of a balanced and fruitful relationship. That part lies in embracing and cultivating two important tenets, or principles, of ModPre:

  • Purpose — While not my main area of expertise to speak on discovering one’s purpose, I can confirm that my greatest moments in life have been when I had a well defined one. It grounds you. It serves as your compass, and should ultimately give you chills when you ponder living up to your fullest potential serving it.
  • Alignment — This took a long time for me to realize, but is so powerful. You can’t spend your whole day working in e-commerce or pharmaceuticals and then the remaining 6pm-10pm on your passion as a professional painter, DJ, or chef. Life is too short to not have every area of your life compliment the other. You will have to start to align elements of your hobbies and passions with your career and vice versa. If your efforts are all over the place, the results are likely to be as well.

These are important to an erotic and fulfilling relationship because the infectious, sexy energy of developing these two areas is undoubtedly needed to attract a high quality mate. It also inspires them to value your commitment to life, thus making them more likely to be fulfilled and eager to maintain the effort involved on both ends. It all reinforces the lifestyle we are on a journey developing …

With this simple introduction to core concepts of fulfilling relationships, and on a broader level, all social dynamics, you should start to see what separates the ideal from the accidental. For me, until I realized there were in fact rules and laws in place for how things flow, I felt like I had very little control. I truly believe this is why most settle, they feel there is no other option, and don’t have the first nugget needed to start the process. I challenge you to actually consider where you stand with purpose and alignment, and how you could leverage both. Let this sink in and see how it fits into your personal relationships or even those of your inner circle. Feel free to let me know if this resonates with you or not. Enjoy the week and try to leave the day a little smarter than you started.

- Jus’ Black