The United States of Denial and Effective Leadership

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Originally posted on LinkedIn Pulse: https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/what-your-mission-statement-moe-glenner?trk=pulse_spock-articles

One of the most insidious barriers to effective change is a particularly effective flavor of self-defense, otherwise known as denial. We will deny that there is a problem and when we acknowledge that there is an issue, we will deny its affects and/or its severity. And even should we acknowledge that there is a severe issue needing a remedy, we will then deny that it is our problem. In other words, we will assert that it is someone/something else’s fault that we have this problem and then demand that the responsible party fix it.

We don’t need to look any further than our current election season to find evidence. If there’s crime, then we blame others for entering the country illegally or allowing it (and/or blame anyone outside our ethnocentric circles). Or we blame guns/lack of guns. If only there were more/less of them, we’d be safe. If we feel entitled to more government services, then we blame anyone that stands in the way of government providing it. If the government is broke and everything is deficit-spending, then we blame others for their wanton spending and blame the government for enabling it. Everyone and everything is a victim, especially us. And we demand action and we’re entitled to results, aren’t we? We deny that we have real accountability and responsibility. It’s the culture of victim-hood, where we’re all angry victims and demand redress.

Consider another example of this entitlement owing from denial. In many youth sports, regardless of whether the team won or lost, everyone gets a participation trophy. Now in certain cases, this might be appropriate (i.e. a participant has a physical/development issue and we want to encourage continued participation). However, in most cases, the participation trophy has three adverse effects: One, it prevents the losing team and its players from being accountable. One of the greatest motivators, especially in team sports is losing and the introspection that necessarily follows. If a team lost and feels the loss, then they must try harder, train harder, be mentally more prepared, etc. if they are going to be successful. Giving the losing team participation trophies enables denial. And this denial is a barrier to learning from the defeat. ‘Sure, the scoreboard says we lost, but we got trophies just the same as the winners.’

Second, it fosters entitlement. Just by playing and participating we’re now entitled to a trophy. It doesn’t matter if we win or lose, we demand a trophy. Later, this will manifest itself into unhealthy attitudes/entitlement demands towards life, relationships and future employment.

Finally, the third adverse effect is the elimination of the non-winner category. With every initiative and at every stage, there are winners/winning ideas and non-winners/non-winning ideas. The non-winner stage is merely a temporary setback or turbulence. This setback can be the springboard to an even stronger and more resilient end result. But this can only happen with an acknowledgment of the setback (aka acknowledgment of not winning). The participation trophy blunts the recognition of not winning and thus impedes the learnings that should take place on the quest to be stronger.

There is a reason why every addiction program starts with the same first step; ‘Admission is the first step to recovery’. Nowhere in this recovery mode is there blaming someone and/or something else. In other words, it’s our problem and we take ownership of both the problem and our steps to resolve it. And while we can’t control certain things/people, we can always control our reactions/responses towards them.

Of course, admission or detection of a problem isn’t and shouldn’t be reserved just for recovery programs. It is a useful tool with universal application ranging from our personal lives to our professional lives, from doctors and dentists to pilots and project managers and from entrepreneurs and start-ups to established multi-nationals and Fortune 500 executives.

True and highly effective leadership requires a hard (and many times, painful) internal look and actionable introspection. And effective change starts with our ability to be self-accountable and only then, will we be in a position to look (and influence) externally.

When not piloting the skies of blue, I inspire people and organizations to think and act differently. To learn more about the Leadership Takeoff! (Ideation+Change=Innovation) leadership series please visit me at www.MoeGlenner.com or contact me directly at Moe@MoeGlenner.com.

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