Fear cripples

So I recently got the TimeHop app. It is pretty basic, you link your social media accounts to it and it gives you daily updates and photos from that exact day in your personal history.

It is like a customized time capsule. I LOVE it and it is on my Top 5 Best Services On The Internet list.

Today it showed me a picture from 5 years ago. I had just turned 20. The picture was a welcome reminder of how confident, determined and fearless I used to be.

Somewhere along the line, life happened and that character was diluted. I started getting afraid. Let’s just say life gave me lemons and I didn’t have water and honey to made a lemonade. I got really scared of the sour taste of the lemons.

Fear is defined as an emotional response induced by a perceived threat.

My analysis of that definition — it is our perception that gives fear life. If you do not perceive something as a threat, you will not be afraid of it.

Fear is not all bad. What is your greatest fear? Mine is either poverty or getting fat. Now, because I am scared of those two, I have stopped being lazy with work (positive 1. my resume is getting a face lift) and I have taken up #teamFitFam (positive 2. better health and baby girl is looking hotter). Unless your fear propels you to act positively, it really isn’t worth having or nurturing.

Humans typically respond to fear in one of these three ways

  1. Fight
  2. Flee
  3. Freeze

When I first started getting afraid, my first reaction was to flee. Took quite a while for me to accept reality, when I finally confronted reality, I froze. And I froze for a very long time. I simply wasn't doing anything. School, work, relationships — Everything suffered. It was only recently that I mustered the courage to fight and I am still a white belt.

What helped me? I tried to connect with that 20 year old who (without knowing anybody on the inside) walked into the Corporate head quarters of one of Nigeria’s leading banks with a three paged proposal asking to see the head of Corporate services.

There’s a twitter bio of a friend that I really like, it says — fairy tales do exist because I am the author of mine. Sound cliche right? But honestly, it is a powerful sentence.

Recently, fear came knocking again. I plan to go back to school next year and the one thing that stands between me and my dream scholarship is a fantastic personal statement. This made me very afraid. Funny, I’ve helped countless people structure and proofread their personal statements but when it came to mine, I froze. I am still trying to “unfreeze” from this phase and my close friends have been fantastic in helping me walk through this.

That brings me to my next point. Friends. Very important, do not be too proud to talk to people. Ask people to help you walk through and fight your fears. Believe me, people are generally nicer than you think.

Fear is a very terrible thing, if you flee it chases after you, it will take away your peace. If you freeze, it will overpower you. Your best option is to fight. Even if you do not win the battle, you will at least get some punches in, that should weaken your fear.

This is specifically addressed to people within my age bracket — As you build your life you will be confronted with challenges that will make you scared, things will happen that will make you say “What the hell? I give up”, disappointments will mess with your self esteem, betrayals will make you cry. My advice is that you embrace all these challenges, walk through them — when you are older every scar will be a reminder that you are a fighter, this confidence will help you fight bigger fears in bigger battles, yes life gets tougher as we grow older.

….. Fear cripples.

With Love,


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