The price we pay

I won’t lie… being CEO of a fast-growing tech startup that’s absolutely CRUSHING IT is exhilarating. I spend my days working with an unbelievable team of motivated, hungry, passionate people who want to make it happen. I never have 2 days that look the same. I’m never at my office long enough to ever get bored. I spend more time on the road or at events meeting incredible people who all want to genuinely help make us more successful, than working on spreadsheets, preparing documents, or doing any of the nine million things I used to do. I wear power suits. I rub shoulders with the people who are shaping and changing the world. I negotiate and close multi-million dollar deals.

Life is pretty great.

Life, is Pretty Great.

Life… is pretty great.

But was it worth the price I paid? The price I think all CEOs and founders pay?

You see, when you set off, you’re sold the dream. The high-powered job, the thrill of the chase, the wheeling and dealing, the millions of dollars, the jet-setting lifestyle, the hundreds of employees, the awards and galas, etc… etc… etc…

And let me be the first to tell you, it’s all true. I promise you it’s all true. All of these things, material as they may be, are quite frankly an amazing part of the job… but only when you get there.

When YOU, get THERE.

When you get there.

But what they don’t tell you is what you will inevitably go through to get there… The emotional turmoil. The obsessive-compulsive metamorphosis of your brain. The TEMPER you will develop that you never thought you’d have. The loneliness that comes from knowing so much, and only being able to share so little. The insatiable appetite for always wanting more. The Jekyll and Hyde personality that comes with the pressures of the position. The addiction, absolute addiction to the next level. The loss of friends, and in some cases, touch with reality. The ego that sometimes gets out of control. The aggressiveness that escalates with every achieved milestone. The realization that you’re fucking invincible… until you’re not anymore.

I love my job. It’s a glamorous, incredibly fulfilling thing being the CEO of a successful company you built on your shoulders. I couldn’t do anything else. I don’t want to do anything else. But over the years of building this company, I’ve changed. I don’t think I wanted to change. I don’t even think I was ready to change. But for sure, I’ve changed. I had to change.

I’ve accepted these as part of my path to get there. And now that I’m here, looking at the journey ahead, and how much more I want to accomplish, I can only wonder, how much more change is about to come…

It’s the price we pay…

and that we’ll keep on paying…

until we get there…