EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE | WELLBEING | HEALING
Would you rather be right, or be happy?
The other day I worked with a client, Zara, who had been furious with her parents and sisters for years. Decades.
She was mad because they’d forced her to do things that she knew were wrong. Most of them ended badly, just as she’d known they would.
Zara was also angry at herself because she let them control and manipulate her.
Over the last year or so, she began to get tired of feeling so furious. She could feel it wearing her down, draining her energy, making her miserable.
She wanted to let go of the anger but didn’t know where to start.
That’s when Zara came to me for guidance and healing.
I said, “It’s okay to get mad. Anger is a normal part of being human. And you’re seeing that when you hang onto rage, it morphs into bitterness and resentment.”
“I know.” Tears came to her eyes. “I can feel it eating me up from the inside out.”
It was an honor to help Zara. She told me later that she walked away from our session feeling lighter and freer than she’s felt in 25 years.
Zara is not the only one struggling with rage these days.
There’s a lot to get angry about. It would be weird if you didn’t feel upset sometimes.
But built-up anger can lead to blowing up your life and ruining relationships with people you love.
I hate it when that happens.
If you feel frustration or rage edging you toward an explosion, watch this video (5 min 48 sec) before you blow your stack. It could save you a lot of grief.
And/or you can scroll down a bit to read the rest of the article.
Enjoy, my friend!
If you tend to hold on to anger, resentment, or bitterness, it’s not your fault.
It’s because part of you thinks it’s a really good idea.
That part of you — let’s call it the ego-mind — believes you need to hold on to anger to keep you from getting hurt again.
I never want you to get hurt again either, my dear.
This is why it’s important to know that holding onto anger and letting it stagnate will attract more things to be angry about.
Welcome to the dark side of the law of attraction. The energy you carry is the energy you attract.
So, what can you do instead?
1) Allow yourself to be angry in the moment
There’s nothing wrong with feeling angry. There’s nothing wrong with you for feeling angry. It’s a normal human response to feeling attacked, threatened, or embarrassed.
The anger is a signal from your unconscious mind telling you, “We need to look at this. Something’s not right.”
2) Express anger in constructive ways
You can say something like…
“This isn’t working for me anymore.”
“I’m angry about that.”
“I’m too upset to talk about it right now. Let’s meet again later.”
“It’s not okay anymore for you to talk to me like that.”
3) Once you’ve expressed the anger, let it go
It’s gotten your attention, which means anger’s job is done.
Breathe the rage out, punch a pillow, shake out your arms and legs — do something physical to release the energy of anger from your body.
4) Resume the conversation when you’ve calmed down
Once the red mist of anger has lifted, it’s easier to see a solution.
You would rather resolve the problem than make it worse by saying or doing things you’ll regret later. Right?
Right now, your ego-mind may be thinking something like,
“That’s crazy talk. I need to hold onto my anger to stay in my power.”
There’s just one problem with that strategy…
Anger is not the source of your power.
Thinking it’s your power is like mistaking the plug for the socket.
Anger ignites your awareness of your power.
Its true source lives at the core of your being.
Your innermost self is strong, loving, wise, brave, generous, and true.
That’s who you really are.
So, does it make sense that you’ll get better results if you connect with your power through love, compassion, or gratitude?
Here’s a healing for you
If you would like to know how to handle your anger in ways that serve the highest and best good of all concerned, starting with you…
Say “Yes” out loud or in your heart.
Picture golden light showering you from above.
Imagine it soaking your hair, soothing your mind, healing your heart.
Let it flow until it feels done.
Let there be peace now.
Thank you for taking the time to read this message.
I hope it helps you in some way to create more joy, fulfillment, and abundance in your life, my dear friend. You deserve it.
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About Moira Shepard
How I Got My Life Back After 7 Years in Bed
From invalid to rollerblader — and so much more, by the grace of God
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