Going to Town- How something so easy becomes so Hard.

Today I went to town with the terrible but terrific two. I rarely do something as mad & as stressful. The only time I ever really bring them to town is to get them new shoes. This wasn’t that frequently until recently. In the last 3 months the youngest has proceeded to grow out of shoes at a rate that is just simply astonishing. I fear we have one of those kids that’ll be wearing adult sized shoes by the time his 10. Considering its costing me 40 quid every few weeks, I also fear he’ll be leaving school at 10 to pay for his fast growing feet.

This is another difference I’m seeing between raising a little boy child & a little girl child. Her feet grown twice a year, Spring & Autumn, & it’s a full size each time. His feet seem to be growing non stop in 1/2 size intervals. As a result of giant feet, I’m having to visit town with far too regularity than is good for myself, my bank balance & the greater publics sanity.

My strategy is to go to town first thing on Monday mornings. The reasoning been, town is empty so less potential for a large audience to view what will evidently unfold.

The scope of the project wasn’t big, simply to purchase shoes for the kids. On paper this looks like a simple task.

We wake, we have breakfast while looking out at the lashing rain. Breakfast takes way too long as my kids like a full buffet each morning. By the time we’ve negotiated the dressing part of the day & are ready to depart it’s after 10. A full 3.5 hrs since the first wake up wail.

We get to town & park. I assemble. the buggy, put on coats, put kids in buggy, put on rain covers & bye bye another chunk of my life. I can remember when I had one baby & another parent commented on just how long it took to go places. I very confidently informed them I didn’t find it too bad. My baby was 6 weeks old…..now nearly 36 months experience of this kind of effort to go places & I know that parent must of split their ass laughing once I got out of ear shot.

Things were going well on our trip so far, no traffic, no problems getting parking & heavy rain had turned to a light drizzle. So I expanded the brief of project shoe & I went in & purchased a handset in a phone shop. Everything had been researched in advance & I’d phoned ahead to make sure they had what I wanted just incase I was lucky enough to get the chance to drop in.

By the time I arrived at the shoe shop I was starting to build up a sweat, pushing the guts of 5 stone around cobblestones in a rain coat will do that to you.

The eldest was delighted, she was all geared up for shoe shopping. The youngest just started to roar the minute the very nice sales assistant said hello to him. Before the sales assistant had time to ask who needed shoes my daughter had every pair she liked taken down from the shelf & lined up to try on. Meanwhile my little guy just proceeded to loose the plot.

I took him out of the buggy to try calm him. I gave him a pack of raisins. At this point, he went berserk. He just threw himself & the raisin around, flaying widely, while trying to pull his sister back into the buggy. The sales assistant commented that he was the first child she ever saw who cried to get back into a buggy.

Worse was to follow it turned out that the eldest didn’t quite need new shoes, but giant feet did. I tried to bribe the eldest with talks of the lady not having shoes in her size, & we ll come back another day….yep you guessed it I now had two $h1t attacks to contend with. How long more do you think it ll take her to grow out of the shoes she has on, I ask over the whaling around me. Come back in 2 weeks, the sales assistance said. My response was I ll take the bunny shoes in a half size bigger. I asked for a full size bigger for giant feet.

We left the shop promptly, herself delighted she had new shoes, himself hysterical from been chased to try to see did the new shoes fit correctly. I left the shop mortified as I had nearly forgot to pay in my haste to escape.

Panic ensued when I got outside there was a huge down pour. My choices were, go back inside the shoe shop, try dash back to the car or to go to a cafe around the corner & settle the little guy. I chose wrong & went to the cafe.

At the cafe I asked over the screams of the traumatised toddler for a take away coffee & scone. The owner thinking he was helping, said you don’t have to get a take away, we’re family friendly here. I insisted no I’m fine I just need a coffee & scone, to go. Stay he said, relax, if anybody complains I ll ask them to go. I have two small kids at home he said. You’re very good but I ll have to go, I replied. I was now in a full on marathon sweat. I took the scone straight from the bag the man had handed me & halved it with my hands, handed it into the buggy & then……silence.

I thought it was for you the owner laughed. The coffees for me, as for getting to eat something I’m so far down the food chain in my house, I rarely get to eat.

I turned to leave, slightly less on edge & a very kind older women approached me, I had twins too she said, it’s really hard at that stage but it does get it easier. Their not twins I said, but thank you for your thoughtfulness & I left pushing a buggy up a cobblestone hill with a coffee in one hand & a coat in the other.

Oh Yes, how something so easy becomes so hard.

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