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You just don’t get it. You obviously did not even read my real experiences that had nothing to do with being in the “wrong place” or drinking, or any other provocative action on my part. This happens regardless of protections, precautions, or even the presence of companions. This is nothing the victims can prevent. It is ONLY and has always been ONLY something the abuser can prevent.

It’s too hard for you to stop feeling blamed by women for the culture of sexism that is integral to what it means to be a woman. It’s too hard for you to stop self-blaming long enough to validate our realities. So you invalidate us with every word you speak or write on this issue. You just don’t understand that every justification… every qualification… every admonition to take “responsible precautions” against what is completely out of our control is yet another layer of oppression. Your false equivalencies don’t have anything to do with the abuse #MeToo survivors face. We aren’t drunk driving to work to be harassed or assaulted on the job. We’re not “playing in the street” to be subjected to catcalls and lewd gestures as we walk to work. We’re not taking drugs to get a bus or train or to drive to the shops for the weekly necessities only to be harassed by the dude lurking in the produce stands.

My God, man! What dark hole is your head jammed down? What the devil do you think women are doing in our day to day lives just getting to work and the shops and home to our families? WHAT THE HELL HAVE STDS GOT TO DO WITH AVOIDING FRAGGING CULTURAL SEXIST ABUSE?!

By speaking and writing these things you believe, you codify yourself into the oppression that is sexism. Your spurious qualifications and reasoned-seeming stance DEFENDS THE ABUSER. You are blaming #MeToo survivors for being abused! You are aiding and abetting our abusers. YOU ARE THE PROBLEM.

If you cannot simply respond with #IBelieveYou, then sit yourself back. Take your hands off the keyboard. YOU ARE INFLICTING MORE PAIN UPON US! You put yourself right there in the place of every abuser for every #MeToo survivor who reads your words. Just stop!