You, like Mr. Dogma Vat, do not get it. The entire #MeToo movement is about ending this culture of toxic sexism. The entire point of the #MeToo movement is that I am NOT special. What I’ve survived is a commonality of experience — and endemic abuse that YOU choose to dismiss, demean, and invalidate. The entire point of the #MeToo movement is that the experiences are so common that there to NOT be abused is the rarity. The point, Mr. Mateo D., is that if I had NOT been abused, THAT would have made me special.
You are not paying attention. One in three women are sexually harassed; one in four women are victims of domestic abuse; one in five women are raped; every single woman faces gender discrimination. In case you don’t do math, that is every single woman and girl you know or ever will know. One in seventy-one men are raped or sexually assaulted. At least one in ten men are harassed or face gender discrimination. Again, in case you didn’t catch the math, that’s one tenth of every man and boy you know or ever will know.
Those stats aren’t just a collection of numbers. Those stats mean real people. MILLIONS of men and boys. BILLIONS of women — around three and half BILLION women out of the approximately seven billion humans on the planet. BILLIONS!!!!
We have been putting on our “big boy or big girl pants” and “dealing with it” while YOU ignored it, or blamed us, or shamed us, or participated in our abuse. We’ve been “dealing with it” because people like YOU decided that it’s “just the way things are.” You decided the abused aren’t valuable enough as fellow human beings to do anything about the abusers — You decided the abusers were more valuable than the abused.
Maybe you’re encapsulated in your bubble of lucky privilege — “lucky” that you believe you’ve escaped the abuse. Maybe that’s why you will not see abuse around you. Maybe you’re too titillated by incidences of abuse when you see it or listen to tales of it when your locker room buddies brag about it. Maybe you’re too weak and powerless to challenge it when you see it. Maybe you’re the abuser.
Your reasons don’t matter — what matters is that you refuse to be part of a solution. Whatever the particular reason you blame and shame, make no mistake Mr. Mateo D., YOU ARE COMPLICIT.