The ugly wart of small mindedness

Love isn’t a commodity or an issue for politicians to play with to suit the day’s agenda. I have enough belief and trust in humanity that all Australians will have the right to marry, sooner rather than later.

Last week again, that ‘I know best’ supreme ego reared to block the right for same sex marriage in Australia. In simple terms, the Prime Minister’s party room decided to stand in the way of recognising marriage equality after a six-hour debate that resolved against allowing a conscience vote.

The gall of the ugly wart of small mindedness, festering within a handful of people who believe that they can stand in the way of two people expressing their love for one another through a commitment that is meaningful to them. And to see this handful behave in a way where they yield a power to make such a decision based on what they believe is right, without having a level of empathy and emotional intelligence to ‘read’ what society wants, to listen to what society is saying, or even be bothered to ask. They after all, are representing the people.

You have to wonder what century we’re living in. Oh that’s right, the same century where the government continues to turn their back on asylum-seekers arriving by boat in the hope of finding refuge. That’s another story.

It’s embarrassing that we continue to discuss this right for marriage equality.

No-one has the right to tell another how to live their life (without harming others of course), let alone how they commit to the one they love. It’s a taint on the notion of love. Real love. On who should love who, why, and how that love is cemented in commitment, whether founded on the belief of the sanctity of marriage or not. The ability to marry only if two people are of the opposite sex is an incredibly warped concept.

Love isn’t something that can be reasoned or slotted into neat compartments. It just is. It can sprout from nowhere, unexpected, whether one is looking for it or not and without ticks in boxes to indicate ‘the right love’. Love comes from the heart and with an unwavering connection between two people, an instinct to support and protect, a physical desire that arouses without understanding, and consideration, acceptance and forgiveness without condition. The head cannot reason with what stems from the heart so how can the head reason with the depth of need to commit to love through the sanctity of marriage?

The head cannot explain the comfort one feels in a first embrace and of never wanting to let go. The head cannot explain that pit of empty in one’s gut at the thought of losing someone even when one is unaware of feelings brewing inside.

But I have faith. Momentum is building. Petitions and rallies for same-sex marriage continue across the country and others in government are speaking out, even in the Prime Minister’s party room with six Liberal MP’s and Senators today committing to crossing the floor. Deputy Leader of the Opposition, Tanya Plibersek, wrote about the huge disappointment to millions of Australians who support marriage equality after last week’s decision and more poignant, she apologised in parliament to children of same-sex parents for not having the same rights as their friends who have parents that can marry, simply because they are of the opposite sex. I felt cheated for those families, compounded because of the effect on the children.

Tanya’s apology can be found here and her story, here.

It bothers me as to why people can’t be left to love who they want and commit in the way that’s important to them. Our own heart feels as it does and those feelings can’t be rationalised to dictate who can marry who. Perhaps we’ve developed into a society oozing in egotistical opinion and judgement, boosted by super steroids, the same steroids feeding the ugly wart of small mindedness.

The heart will always shine through though, even over the ugly wart. Love isn’t a commodity or an issue for politicians to play with to suit the day’s agenda. I have enough belief and trust in humanity that all Australians will have the right to marry, sooner rather than later.

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