On Turning 27. Things I know to be true.

I’m almost 30!

This is what I have been saying for the past few months as my 27th birthday drew closer. I said it in jest but the reality of it only hit me about 15 minutes into my birthday.

“Sh*t! I’m almost 30.” I said it and it was the first time I felt it, it was like a rock on my chest and a click in my brain.

When I was 8 I thought old people were 14 and ancient people were 27. I’m quite aware that to many I’m an adult but I still feel like I’m adulting i.e. I still feel like 8 year old me pretending to be an adult.

But as I reflect on my 27 years there are some things that I now know to be true.

1. You can’t set a date to be married as a goal: For a long time I set marriage goals like I did every other goal. It was lost on me the intricacies of the events that would have to come together at just the right moment to make a goal like that feasible. Finding the right person, feeling ready and being a good financial place are a real thing.
2. Being married is not THE GOAL: Yeah, there is a trend here. Maybe it was all the Disney movies or the fact that I binge watched every romantic comedy my parents would allow me to. But at sometime in my life I thought getting married was the end of every girl’s story. And for some it is, but for me it is one milestone in a long life of milestones.
3. You don’t have to know exactly what you want to be at 16 or 17 or 27: I spent a lot of time trying to figure out what I wanted to be, but then I realized that sometimes you just have to try things until something clicks. I’ve tried many things, and everything I tired taught me more about myself and what I valued. When you love a lot of things try things out and see what sticks.
4. You can fall in love at 15: Bear asked me if I knew I was in love with him when we met at 15. I told him, looking back I was, but I wouldn’t have allowed myself to admit it. I believed I was too young to know what love was. But boy was I (and still am) in love.
5. Parents aren’t perfect and they don’t know everything: Growing up you think your parents know everything as you come into adulthood you realize that they are just figuring out life just like everyone else. Its kind of nerve wracking when you think about it. They were responsible for your entire well being and they’ve basically been winging it this whole time and hoping for the best.
6. I’m sensitive but resilient: When I’m hurt, I hurt deep but I also I have an amazing capacity to love and forgive someone. I hold a lot of my hurt to myself because I never want to be a burden to those around me, but I’m learning to trust those who are closest to me and it has been liberating.
7. Women are not hard to get along with: During high school girls hated me, I was too bubbly, my boobs were too big, I hugged their boyfriends too much, I don’t know it’s what I heard. That always made me afraid to befriend girls because I felt judged, I stuck with the guys because with them I felt protected. I always wanted an older brother and I think I sought that comfort from my male friends. In recent years, I have formed the most amazing relationships with women, and now I know that women can support each other and help each other to grow.
8. Financial freedom is about sacrifice: Two years ago I was broke. JPS cutting off my light, no food in the fridge, avoiding phone calls from Courts broke. I decided that I had enough and started my journey of digging myself out that the mess I made. For two years, I ate beans and rice, tracked every dollar I spent and barely had a life. I made a goal to be debt free by 27, and 10 days after my birthday I paid off my final debt. I’m not rich but those two years taught me a lot about staying focused on a goal.
9. I don’t need to be a unicorn for my success to be valid: I still struggle with this one as I get caught in the comparison game. But one day as I was stressing out about needing to get money to hire a team so I could grow faster, I asked myself, “What’s wrong with growing slowly?” Or even just growing at a normal pace? For every unicorn there are thousands of regular entrepreneurs building successful businesses from decades of hard work and sacrifice. My success wasn’t any less valid because it took me longer to get there.
10. When people walk out of your life let them: And don’t embarrass yourself begging them to stay. The truth is, people have to make the right choices for themselves and as much as it may hurt, sometimes that just doesn’t include you. Let people go on and live their life.
11. You’re never ready until you’re ready: I’ve tried my hand at entrepreneurship many times, but honestly, I wasn’t ready. It wasn’t my time. I felt ashamed for changing my mind so much about what I wanted and felt like others would judge me and think I was flippant. I had the entrepreneurial spirit, but I didn’t have the drive. And I’m happy all those half-assed attempts didn’t work because they led me here, to starting a business that I love.
12. Everything will be o.k.: My life is mine to live and no matter what happens everything will be o.k.

These are the 12 things I know to be true. I hope you enjoyed it. I haven’t written like this in quite some time. Leave a comment and let me know what you think.

Love & Light,

Monique Rebecca