Raising the Fatherless Child.
Daily I experience the joys of motherhood albeit alone. My son’s father is what I call a paper father (on paper he looks good); however in real life he’s almost nonexistent.
Since the positive pregnancy test, heartbeat, movement and first suckle I have held a special place for my son. Doctor appointments and middle of the night emergency room visits, show the extent of my never ending love. Yet during those times his father was nonexistent.
Now ten years later the existent is only peripheral. Does he pay his support, yes voluntarily. Does he send gifts, yes voluntarily. Does he contact him frequently, no.
Throughout all these years I have never spewed negativity about him to my son. So, his reflection of being a father is through the eyes of our son. Our son knows he is not fully vested and he is okay with their fragmented relationship. I guess the adage of “never missing what you never had,” is real and relevant.
My son has let me know that I am his world and my parenting is top notch. So today I put aside the ‘woulda, coulda, shoulda’ rhetoric of what I feel my son is missing compared to the siblings whom live with his father.
Being my son’s mother, teacher, guide and hero is a daily reminder that I AM ENOUGH.