fucking cops just stopped me

in front of my train station
that I go to every day
in front of a bunch of people
whom I walk amongst every day
who already assume any number of things about me
and can now add
that they’ve seen me being stopped
and questioned
by
three
policemen
at 7:00 in the fucking morning
we’ve been called out here, you see
they say
about me?
I say
no, we’re checking everyone
they say
(everyone brown,
I think)
where you from?
how long you been in Japan?
can I see your ID?
where do you work?
are you a teacher?
may we ask your phone number?

guys
you keep asking me if I’m ever coming back
it’s shit like this that makes it an absolute yes
i know this is pretty pathetic a thing to complain about
(the last time I put my hood up
I forgot about the cold and the rain
I thought deep and long
about Trayvon)
but the thing is
I fit the profile
no matter
what country
I go to
at least at home
I don’t have to feel a million
polite
little pinpricks
every day
people assuming I am
dangerous
dumb
on vacation
every day
people ignoring me
staring at me
avoiding me
やっぱり外人がこわいなあ
外人だから日本語わかんないよ
we don’t rent to gaijin
sorry, i don’t speak English
hi i’m drunk let’s speak English
would you like our jacked up English menu?
and
can we see your ID?

with a fucking smile

with the utmost of decorum
as if being polite
means it’s not racist
that discrimination is okay
as long as you’re not being rude about it

I know this is crazy
but I’d rather risk
getting assaulted by a racist cop back home

I’d rather become hashtagSam

than have to face kind,
sweet,
discrimination
every day for the rest of my life

I woke up
at 6:30
a.m.
I have a long day
I got worksheets to print
for five classes
for 200 students
I’ll be the first
gaijin
on the clock
(what I hate most
about that word,
‘gaijin,’
is that I have to share it
with gaijin
who wish they were Japanese
who tell me
that I am overreacting:
why is it always the White gaijin
that tell me
that I am overreacting)
I wanted to get an early start
to my long-ass day

but there was a delay at the station
that only delayed me
it was the color of my skin
in the eyes of people
who don’t see me.

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