I Am Michael Slay: The Incredibly Strange, Incredibly True Story of How Someone With the Last Name Goldberg Became a Writer on the Most Popular Neo-Nazi Website
My name is Joshua Ryne Goldberg. I was born on May 14, 1995 in Jacksonville, Florida, which is where I lived until my family eventually moved to the nearby suburb of Orange Park. From my childhood until 2015, I was the most prolific troll in the history of the internet, being involved in a dizzying array of dramas and controversies on the web and essentially acting as a nihilistic chaos agent, taking multiple sides on every single issue under a staggering number of fake identities. In 2015, I was arrested in a high-profile terrorism case due to my bogus “Australi Witness” jihadist persona, where I purported to be a Lebanese-Australian ISIS supporter. This article is not about that case, which I already talked about in great detail in my 2018 public statement on Medium, “First Public Statement From Joshua Goldberg” (a lengthy essay — written, in my typical fashion, with a downright cringe-inducing level of turgid, altisonant sententiousness — which attracted very little attention, aside from the expected juvenile and moronic comments on alt-right cesspools like /r/drama). Rather, what you are about to read is a reflection on one of my other most well-known and most infamous internet personas (of which I had countless): “Michael Slay”, the Daily Stormer writer and moderator of every neo-Nazi subreddit that existed on Reddit until all of them were eventually axed.
First, let me say that, unlike the alt-right’s pseudo-intellectual academics like Richard Spencer and Kevin B. MacDonald, Daily Stormer editor Andrew Anglin is not even remotely an intelligent person. To put it plainly, Andrew Anglin is a drooling idiot, and his slapdash website is a reflection of that. Whereas sites like The Occidental Observer (the site for intellectual and erudite white supremacists) use specious, meretricious, casuistical sophistry to sugar-coat their toxic ideology when proselytizing, not telling you the really crazy stuff at first and luring you in with illusory, sugar-coated claptrap that sounds much more reasonable than it actually is, you will find none of that duplicitous, illusive, pedagogical blague from Anglin’s site, which appeals to the brainless, churlish, knuckle-dragging neanderthals who comprise the vast majority of the neo-Nazi base. To pissed-off basement-dwellers, Anglin — painting himself as a salvific messiah for the common white man — represents their inner id, saying the things that they’re too afraid to say and attacking the groups that they conveniently scapegoat for their own glaring failures in life. Unlike the more elitist wing of the alt-right, who specialize in churning out highbrow, didactic lectures written with inkhorn magniloquence, Anglin consistently uses crude, exoteric, just-folks language (i.e. the opposite of the frightfully pretentious and pedantic way that I’m talking right now) and, to his self-described “troll army”, every bilious, contrarious, rebarbative thing that comes out of Anglin’s mouth is a doughty, valorous act of derring-do against the PC establishment. In other words, Anglin mirrors his idol Donald Trump (well, at least, a dirt-poor version of Donald Trump), except that, unlike Donald Trump, Anglin actually sincerely believes the rancid diatribes that come out of his mouth and isn’t just a cynical, calculating, opportunistic sociopath (although I’m sure that Anglin is indeed a sociopath, but that’s besides the point).
Anglin’s first site, Total Fascism, was largely a flop, as it consisted entirely of long, turgid, and often profoundly dull ramblings completely devoid of any humor or anything else that would grab anyone’s attention — sort of like The Occidental Observer if The Occidental Observer had been written by a semi-literate, swelled-headed 12-year-old who just discovered /pol/ and now desperately wanted to be an eeevul nawtsee (Anglin himself reports that he “started getting into Hitler” from perusing 4chan). Anglin judiciously nixed that approach when he launched The Daily Stormer, a site built on jokes, memes, and trolling. With The Daily Stormer, Anglin largely stopped attempting to be a writer and instead pilfered content from other sources, adding his own moronic comments to amp up the rhetoric and rile up his “troll army” to a febrific pitch. Anglin culled almost all of his content from three online swamps that no longer exist: the now-banned /r/WhiteRights and /r/CoonTown subreddits, and the /new/ board on now-defunct 4chan knock-off 4chon, where Anglin would aggressively spam links to The Daily Stormer and board users would often create images mocking him and frequently lament how “that Anglin ape’s spam” was ruining the site. While Richard Spencer and his ilk always tried their best to be taken seriously, backing up their bigoted views with heavy use of dubious academic citations and never devolving into guttural “gas the kikes, race war now”-type invective, that kind of vitriolic, fescennine billingsgate is precisely what The Daily Stormer thrived on, getting the usual free publicity and canned outrage by whipping neo-Nazi neckbeards into a state where they were fully ready to gas the kikes and start a race war now (provided that doing so didn’t require them to leave their mothers’ basements, of course). Indeed, the prospect of having a virtual army of neo-Nazi troglodytes at my disposal, which I could use to wreak havoc on the internet, is one of the things that drew me the most into becoming a writer for The Daily Stormer, under the alias “Michael Slay”. And Anglin’s complete lack of any judgement skills made it very, very easy for me to do so.
Prior to me naming the character “Michael Slay”, I had been posting on Reddit’s white supremacist subreddits — where Anglin got his content from — under aliases like “Proud_European”, “Gas-the-Kikes”, “Wake_Up_White_Man”, “Le_Cancer-kin”, “MayMayPoster”, and the one that would become the most well-known, “European88”. Any time I posted anything on Reddit’s neo-Nazi echo chambers, I knew that I would see it on Daily Stormer in a few hours. My highly active Stormfront account, “WakeUpWhiteMan”, had 800+ posts at the time of my arrest and was much-respected on the world’s largest white supremacist message board. As such, I decided one day to shoot Andrew Anglin an email, telling him who I was (those aforementioned accounts) and asking if I could write for the site. He, without any thought or hesitation, immediately signed me on as a full-fledged Daily Stormer contributor.
For several months, I wrote for The Daily Stormer as “Michael Slay”, publishing the kind of puerile neo-Nazi hate screeds typical of the site and initiating harassment campaigns (another one of the site’s trademarks), most notably against Australian Muslim “community leader” and “human rights activist” Mariam Veiszadeh, who seemed to be the perfect target after she had some idiot jailed for hurting her feelings online (previously, Anglin had initiated a harassment campaign against British Labour MP Luciana Berger for the exact same reason). However, Anglin soon got tired of the Veiszadeh trolling from my end, and eventually put the kibosh on it. Not long afterwards, he booted me from the site when I published a pro-genocide editorial on The Times of Israel under the name of real Australian lawyer Josh Bornstein, then wrote a column about it on The Daily Stormer (Anglin nevertheless approved the column at first before later taking it down, putting it back up with an added disclaimer, and then taking it down again). Scared of Bornstein because Bornstein is, in Anglin’s words, “a big Jew lawyer”, Anglin would hear none of my appeals and refused to let me back onto the site, insisting that I start my own site. “Michael Slay” published one more article on a neo-Nazi site after that — not for Daily Stormer, but for its close associate TheRightStuff.biz — and that article was another attempt to troll Bornstein, titled “Notorious Zionist Extremist Josh ‘Destroy the Goy’ Bornstein Uses Twitter Ads to Send Out Anti-Arab Hatred”. The article got little attention, and “Slay” was largely forgotten until my arrest, when it was revealed by Australian journalists Elise Potaka and Luke McMahon who this once-notorious online neo-Nazi really was.
After the cat was out of the bag, Anglin went into full damage control mode, quickly rushing out an explanation with the title “Wacko Jew Terrorist Joshua Goldberg Attempted to Infiltrate the Daily Stormer”. Ranting, raving, and rambling in typical fashion and desperately trying to salvage his self-painted image as a righteous crusader against the worldwide Jewish conspiracy, Anglin oscillated between painting me as a deranged, schizophrenic psychopath trying to hurt and kill random people for shits and giggles to a full-blown Jewish/Zionist government agent on a mission to take down the enemies of Judaism, Yahweh willing. Obviously, neither of those scenarios were actually true. In reality, I operated “Michael Slay”/”European88"/”WakeUpWhiteMan”/etc. for the same reason that I did pretty much everything else that I did online: because I could. As previously stated, I liked the idea of having a virtual army of moronic myrmidons who would follow my every command and who I could use to drop atomic drama bombs on the internet — and, indeed, that’s exactly what I did. As The Daily Caller’s Jim Treacher put it when describing my sordid online misadventures: “He set Jews and Muslims against each other, feminists vs. videogame nerds, Nazis vs. everybody.” In that sense, I was not a troll like Andrew Anglin thinks of himself and his “troll army”. Rather, I was a true troll, not motivated by any particular ideology, but driven only by the misanthropic desire to act as hostis humani generis, trying my best to always be an enemy of everyone and an ally of no one.
Equal to (if not even bigger than) the fallout for The Daily Stormer and Stormfront was the fallout for white supremacist Reddit. When I first created European88, he was little more than a strawman racist European, posting moronic racist comments (typically with a European nationalist, anti-American slant) on popular mainstream subreddits and then usually getting knocked down by one of my obnoxious, jingoistic, flag-waving American nationalist personas like Emily_Americana or Nuke_Europe. Over the years, however, European88 gradually transformed into an entirely different beast altogether. At the time of my arrest, European88 was the most active and easily the most infamous neo-Nazi on Reddit, and one of the most notorious neo-Nazis on the entire internet. European88 was a moderator of virtually every single white supremacist subreddit that existed (in fact, over 200 of them), and European88 had even founded many of the most popular white supremacist subreddits (most notably /r/GasTheKikes, which then-Reddit CEO Ellen Pao was asked about by name in an interview where she awkwardly tried to shrug off the site’s considerable neo-Nazi presence). When it was revealed that their head honcho European88 was, in fact, a Jew (or, at least, a Jew-ish mischling), it was the single biggest crisis that the white supremacist Reddit community had ever faced, and it led to them cannibalizing each other even more than they already had been, sending Reddit’s neo-Nazi forums into a steep downward spiral that they never remotely recovered from. White supremacist Reddit is now all but nonexistent, and that’s largely because of the punishing death blow dealt to it by “European88”. Internet Nazis like to think of themselves as being a formidable online army of kindred kike-krushing kommandos, but, in reality, they are — much like the modern Ku Klux Klux — little more than a sorry, loose-knit, ragtag assemblage of various assorted freaks, losers, degenerates, and lowlives who spend far more time attacking each other (and other white people) than they do attacking “kikes”, “niggers”, “sandniggers”, “spics”, “faggots”, or any of the other groups that they want to send to gas chambers. White supremacists in general think that they represent the white race, but, in reality, they are the absolute dregs of the white race and the human race. They are worthless white trash. For that very reason, it doesn’t exactly require a great deal of effort to deceive them, stultify them, turn them against each other, and ultimately destroy them (although, again, my intentions were purely nihilistic and apolitical in nature; I am certainly not a Zionist and I am certainly not some dildo-waving Antifa moron either). But, to my credit: when I engaged in destructive and antisocial trolling of that nature, I did try to target people who deserved it, and it’s pretty hard to think of anyone much more deserving of being trolled than neo-Nazis.
The unmasking of “Michael Slay” was not the last in a series of devastating blows to Anglin. Shortly afterwards, Daily Stormer writer “Hamish Patton” (Australia First Party member Nathan Sykes, who I had gotten to write for Daily Stormer when I corresponded with him on Stormfront) was also revealed to be Jewish. And, in the case of Sykes, what makes his “Jewish neo-Nazi” tendencies that much funnier is that, unlike me, Sykes was 100% earnest in his neo-Nazi convictions, totally committed to the far-right ideologies that he espoused. Regardless, it’s pretty hard to believe that Nathan Sykes/”Hamish Patton” being unmasked as Jewish — after “Michael Slay” had already been unmasked — was not a coup de grace to Anglin’s already highly tenuous reputation among his neo-Nazi base. Even before any of his writers were unmasked as Juden, Anglin always had a highly dodgy reputation among his alt-right contemporaries. It’s well-known that, immediately before he suddenly became a neo-Nazi, Anglin was a far-left vegan who enthusiastically advocated for whites to race-mix with Asians.
Anglin’s militant support for Putin (or, as many on the alt-right call him, Jewtin) is another point of contention, with Anglin loudly stating that he would have zero tolerance for anti-Kremlin comments on his site. Never mind the fact that Hitler considered Russians to be inferior subhuman vermin fit for extermination. There is also a great deal of infighting and pettifogging among the alt-right over the subject of religion, and Anglin himself has been in the center of those Nazi catfights as well. Anglin is often mocked by certain neo-Nazis because Anglin is a “Christtard”, which many neo-Nazis consider to be the religion of “a dead kike on a stick”. My first Stormfront account, “Aryan Heights”, got banned for stirring up infighting over religion, but it doesn’t take a troll for infighting of that sort to erupt among the alt-reich, nor does it take much effort to turn alt-rightists against each other. Any movement based entirely on identity politics — whether far-right or far-left — is inevitably going to eat their own. And, indeed, that’s precisely what we’re witnessing right now, as the alt-right spends more time attacking each other than it does attacking the groups that it claims to despise. Anglin’s movement in particular was never going to get anywhere when you consider the fact that he openly labels himself and his movement as misogynist (even going so far as to proudly emblazon his site with the banner “DAILY STORMER: #1 RAPE-LEGALIZATION WEBSITE”) and it doesn’t exactly take a rocket scientist to tell you that, if you expressly exclude 50% of the human race from your movement, then said movement has absolutely no chance of ever taking off. Not even ISIS explicitly labels themselves as misogynists, and neither do the majority of manosphere cesspools like /r/MensRights and /r/TheRedPill. Their movements are profoundly misogynistic to the core, of course, but they don’t outright hang up “NO GURLS ALLOWED” signs on their movements like Anglin does.
Anglin’s loyal supporters — of which there are a vanishingly small number — will justify the “Michael Slay” and “Hamish Patton” debacles by claiming that Anglin was the target of subversive, serpentine Semitic subterfuge, with conniving Jews going after him because they’re afraid of him (indeed, I’m sure that Israel’s leaders are positively quaking in their boots at the prospect of being targeted by one of Anglin’s cyber-blitzkriegs). However, from merely a cursory glance at “Michael Slay”’s writing, it’s pretty easy to ascertain that this is the work of a disingenuous troll and not a sincere neo-Nazi. No genuine neo-Nazi would seriously bill themselves as an “advocate for the extermination of all non-Whites” and no genuine neo-Nazi would be circulating a petition for Australia to go to war with Indonesia over the Bali 9. Those are things that only a prankish, mischievous, and completely insincere troll who is in it purely for the lulz would do. “Michael Slay” was very reminiscent of that alleged “white supremacist” band Vaginal Jesus, which released songs like “Back of the Bus” and “Happy Hanukkaust” and “Jesus Was Just a Fucking Jew”. It’s generally not that hard to distinguish earnest neo-Nazis from trolls. But, then again, neo-Nazis like Anglin and his ilk are not exactly shrewd and percipient people, hence why they can be so easily bamboozled and hornswoggled by people like yours truly.
In recent years, Anglin has been forced to reckon with the shocking reality that he doesn’t, in fact, have the ironclad, aeonian grip on the neo-Nazi movement that his massively inflated ego led him to think that he did — ironically, the same way that Hitler’s delusional dreams of a thousand-year reich and a world completely dominated by the white Aryan mustard race were dashed before his very eyes, except that this is a Nazi’s genocidal ambitions being shattered on a much smaller (and much funnier to watch) scale. Anglin has very much struggled to keep his site running, constantly changing domains, perpetually running out of money, and finding that his star on the alt-right has been fading, thanks in large part to him losing his sense of humor, with his recent elephantine walls of dense, diffuse, and discursive verbiage on The Daily Stormer now more closely resembling the deathly boring and prolix ones on his old site, Total Fascism. Rather than generating clicks, attention, and outrage with over-the-top trolling and short, laconic, aggressive calls to action that appeal to the primal animal instincts of pugnacious keyboard warriors, Anglin now mainly posts extended, ponderous, and prosaic didactic lectures that even most hardcore, dyed-in-the-wool 1488ers have no real interest in sifting through.
I think it’s safe to say that, if anyone on the planet should know a thing or two about the psychology of trolls, it’s me. As such, I feel that I am more than qualified to state that the way that you deal with people like Andrew Anglin is the same way that you deal with any troll: by ignoring them and not giving them the negative attention that they so eagerly crave. As the old adage goes, please do not feed the trolls. But, of course, that’s the complete opposite of what people usually do. For many years, people fed Anglin a steady, continuous diet of canned outrage, which, in turn, helped turn The Daily Stormer into the most popular neo-Nazi website on the internet. More recently, however, people have finally begun to ignore Anglin’s sordid online antics and, as such, his site has largely faded into obscurity. Anglin’s downward slide into oblivion echoes (and no, not (((echoes)))) that of another quondam alt-right superstar (and one who I also had direct experience with): Milo Yiannopoulos, a cynical opportunist, charismatic sociopath, and professional troll who initially rose to prominence by riding the coattails of the thoroughly ridiculous online culture war between misogynist neckbeards and feminist legbeards known as Gamergate (even though Milo had previously expressed nothing but sheer contempt for gamers, superciliously dismissing them as “unemployed saddos living in their parents’ basements”). Like Andrew Anglin, Milo Yiannopoulos has also recently found that his 15 minutes of internet fame are over, and his star on the alt-right has completely faded. Most recently, Milo has now outright renounced his homosexuality in yet another desperate bid for attention, but absolutely nobody cares about anything that he does or says anymore (and rightfully so). Milo’s schtick was a wearisome one-trick novelty act — “look at me, I’m a flamboyantly gay fascist” — that people very quickly grew tired of… even the ever-reliable social justice warriors who had initially made him famous by giving him their usual ready-made supply of canned outrage and triggered screaming and arm-flailing over every single moronic, calculated, attention-seeking piece of noisome, invidious bile that came out of his pink lip gloss-covered mouth. The same goes for Roosh Valizadeh and all of the other Return of Kings writers as well, whom nobody pays any attention to anymore (as opposed to how outraged people used to furiously spread their vile articles all over the internet and put up petitions demanding in vain that said articles be taken down). Again, the way that you deal with trolls is by ignoring them and not giving them the attention/outrage that they seek. And, again, I, of all people, should know that. People started ignoring the Westboro Baptist Church and, as such, they, too, have largely faded away as well.
A lot of neo-Nazis carry out a complete abjuration of their former beliefs as they mature, renouncing their neo-Nazi views entirely. But, even with Anglin being enfeebled by lack of money and dwindling interest in his impotent rants, I don’t really see that happening in his case any time soon. Neo-Nazism and redpill/manosphere misogyny appeal to his base, miasmic, brutish, and bitterly resentful personality. Anglin hates women because they rightfully won’t go anywhere near him (even if he didn’t look like an albino midget gorilla, his personality is even more repulsive than his appearance), and he also needs other scapegoat groups (Jews, blacks, Mexicans, etc.) to blame for the fact that he’s a completely pathetic loser who will never remotely amount to anything. I myself will readily admit that I am not exactly a pillar of the community, but there are, nevertheless, still several positive things that you can say about me. There is absolutely nothing positive that you can say about Anglin. He is the absolute epitome of someone who does not possess a single redeeming characteristic.
Andrew Anglin — a passionate eugenics advocate — is, ironically, himself a walking argument in favor of eugenics, as he is the absolute epitome of the humanoid untermensch and, if anyone shouldn’t be permitted to breed, it should be people like him. But, like every fedora-tipping permavirgin neckbeard basement-dweller advocating for eugenics on Reddit (“DAE le eug[ent]ics?”), nobody will ever breed with Anglin anyways, meaning that there would be absolutely no need for anyone to ever have him forcibly sterilized. Nature has its own way of weeding out bottom-feeders like Anglin. I guess that’s nature’s eugenics.
While I never really set out to engage in a political effort to discredit Anglin — as previously stated, I was just setting random online arson fires for the lulz, and I outright identify as a nihilist — I would say that, ultimately, I did more long-term damage to Anglin than anyone else ever did, other than Tanya Gersh (see below). All other efforts to take down Anglin had crashed and burned, as they were ham-handed attempts made by self-righteous social justice crusaders who only helped Anglin by feeding into his narrative and doing exactly what he wanted his “cultural Marxist” opponents to do. One perfect example: the teenage script kiddies who make up the self-styled hacking collective Anonymous had previously attempted to use their 1337 h4xx0r skills (their 1337 h4xx0r skills being the ability to use LOIC) to take down Anglin and other online white supremacists, but, needless to say, that endeavor was about as effective as their attempt to take down the Church of Scientology, their attempt to take down Mexican drug cartels, their attempt to take down ISIS, and their attempt to take down Donald Trump. Rest assured that Anglin was not the least bit deterred by some basement-dwelling neckbeards trying desperately in vain to DDoS him (in fact, he outright laughed at them), but “Michael Slay” has left a permanent black mark on his reputation among his hardcore neo-Nazi fandom (which grows smaller and smaller every day). Ever since “Michael Slay” was unmasked, every single article on The Daily Stormer has had at least one person commenting with something like “Well, you are the guys who allowed Joshua Goldberg to become one of your writers.” A neo-Nazi’s credibility can never hope to recover from something like that, hence why, in a similar case, the host of the popular neo-Nazi podcast The Daily Shoah called it quits after doxxers revealed that his wife was Jewish, which utterly destroyed his white supremacist credentials. The alt-right’s skeevy, slimy, amoral bullying and intimidation tactics are now being used against their own, and the results are often quite amusing to watch — especially for the more puckish and anarchic among us, such as myself.
As of this writing, Anglin has recently been ordered to pay $14 million in damages to Tanya Gersh, perhaps the most high-profile victim of one of his trolling campaigns, whom he had relentlessly harassed and intimidated for years, posting her address and phone number, encouraging his “troll army” to harass her (including calling for them to do so in person if they were in the area), planning an armed march through her town that would have ended at her house (which never materialized because he couldn’t comply with the basic requirements needed to obtain a permit), and even going so far as to post dox of her 12-year-old son. A few years prior, Anglin had hypocritically condemned a Jewish journalist for reporting on his mother, claiming that such people were off-limits and that only a Jew would stoop so low, but, needless to say, those same standards didn’t apply when he was going out of his way to menace and intimidate Gersh and her family. Sued by Gersh and the Southern Poverty Law Center for invasion of privacy, intentional infliction of emotional distress, and flagrantly violating Montana’s Anti-Intimidation Act, Anglin was easily convicted. He’ll now have to fork over — to a Jew, no less! — an amount of money that three generations of his inbred white trash family combined could never even dream of cobbling together in their entire lifetimes. Anglin barely even had enough money to keep his shoddy website running, so him being able to pay millions in damages is, it goes without saying, completely out of the question. I would say that he’ll be living in his mother’s basement, but I highly doubt that even his mother wants anything to do with him. Perhaps he’ll follow in Hitler’s footsteps and go the route of felo-de-se — one can only hope that he will, at least. That probably sounds like a cruel thing to say, but you have to remember that we’re talking about an avowed neo-Nazi who has quite literally devoted his life to advocating for everything from rape to slavery to genocide. I can say with absolute certainty that, should Anglin decide to off himself, there is not a single person on the planet who would shed a tear for him — not even his family. Regardless, I do find it rather funny that, when I was writing for The Daily Stormer as “Michael Slay”, Anglin wouldn’t let me post Mariam Veiszadeh’s address, and he later booted me from the site over the Josh Bornstein incident. Anglin wanted to err on the side of caution when harassing Australians (who, obviously, would have a much harder time taking legal action against an American website), but he didn’t want to exercise that same caution when harassing Americans? Ultimately, Anglin’s complete lack of judgement — that same lack of judgement that allowed me to so easily hoodwink him — proved to be his ineluctable, ineludible downfall.
Certain alt-righters will undoubtedly try to claim that Anglin’s First Amendment rights are being encroached upon and that what he was doing was Constitutionally-protected free speech (the far-right is very concerned about freedom of speech when it applies to them, but definitely not when it applies to their opponents). But anyone who is even remotely familiar with me knows that, if that were indeed the case, I would be up in arms about it, regardless of how loathsome Anglin is. In reality, this kind of sustained, targeted harassment and intimidation of a specific individual is not protected by the First Amendment, nor should it be. This is not like the aforementioned case of fervorous censorship advocate, attention-seeking professional phony victim, and wealthy corporate lawyer Mariam Veiszadeh, where someone was jailed for one isolated instance of online name-calling against Veiszadeh. And this is not Australia or Europe, where one can very easily be jailed for name-calling along with any other “offensive” or “insulting” speech. Under the First Amendment, Anglin had every right to call Gersh a filthy Jew bitch (just like Anglin had every right to call me a wacko Jew terrorist), but he did not have the right to instigate and direct a prolonged, coordinated campaign of extreme, targeted harassment, intimidation, and invasion of privacy against Gersh. As such, I have absolutely no objections to Anglin’s conviction. So, Anglin, if you’re reading this (and I know you are): you got precisely what you deserved and, as soon as your current location is found (which I can assure you will indeed happen in the near future), your world is going to come utterly crashing down, and it’s going to be absolutely glorious to watch. I sincerely hope that you finally get what’s coming to you, and I’m pretty confident that you will. Even if you do manage to make it through your inevitable prison term, you’re definitely not going to make it on the outside. You’re in for a very rude awakening, and I earnestly wish you the absolute worst on your journey to rock bottom. Andrew Anglin, I hope that all of your hopes and dreams are shattered like a million shards of glass, I hope that your life (which holds less value than the life of a cockroach) is utterly ruined beyond any hope of repair, and I hope that you have to live in unimaginable misery, shame, emptiness, and blank, cruel, soul-crushing aloneness until you finally decide to do the world a favor and end your worthless, wretched existence once and for all (and, when that happens, I hope that your death is especially slow and painful because you’re too stupid to even commit suicide properly). To steal some wording from Nessa Barrett, I hope you’re miserable until you’re dead. And, rest assured, Andrew: you will be. In the coming years, you are going to be forced to reckon with the fact that you are infinitely more worthless than any Shlomo, Jamal, Carlos, or Habib could ever be, and that reckoning is going to hit you harder than the Dresden bombing hit Nazi Germany.
Prominent white nationalist figurehead Richard Spencer has been dealt a similar bastinado recently, but, despite reports to the contrary, I have absolutely no doubt that Spencer will still be peddling his brand of sugar-coated diet Nazism — I Can’t Believe It’s Not Hitler — for decades to come, just like David Duke. His grand, idealized sweven of a massive white ethno-state (one that, according to Spencer himself, would include Istanbul) will obviously never be even remotely realized, but, being slick, dossy, charismatic, and a bona fide master of mendacious choplogic, Richard Spencer has the intelligence, duende, and good looks (not to mention money) that Anglin completely lacks, hence why he — unlike Anglin — has been able to win over many people to his side who weren’t Nazis before, and I’m fairly confident that, no matter how many times he’s cut down, he will pertinaciously bounce back over and over again and continue to hawk his racist poison to the booboisie. Anglin, however, is indubitably finished for good (although there’s no telling how long his nocent influence on the internet and particularly among the countless assorted scoundrels who congregate in the various fevered swamps of the internet will last). As soon as it’s discovered where he’s actually living at the moment — almost certainly somewhere in Ukraine or Russia — he will end up in American prison; that is, if he’s lucky enough to avoid Russian prison, which is notorious for being quite possibly the worst in the world. Unfortunately, however, I doubt that Anglin will have a particularly hard time in American prison. In fact, he’ll actually fit in quite nicely. Anglin is very much the typical white inmate, and prison is, I regret to say, the only environment in America were Anglin’s views are not only the norm, but are actually enforced as a kind of pseudo-”law” — not just among inmates, but also among prison staff members, who overwhelmingly tend to be just as virulently racist as the inmates. Prison is what critical race theory professors think that America is like, and prison is what neo-Nazis like Andrew Anglin wish that America were like.
As I type this from a prison computer — with the usual menagerie of nosey quidnuncs, busybodies, and stickybeaks trying to read over my shoulder — I truly wonder: should Anglin end up in prison, will anything about him change? Will he have a complete change of heart and renounce his neo-Nazi views like in American History X, performing a full 180-degree about-turn and championing the esemplastic power of the great American melting pot that allowed his forefathers to come here as immigrants? I highly doubt it. Will he become even more of a base, contemptible, bigoted, and despicable hilding, if that’s even possible? Most likely. Most importantly of all, will I ever run into him during my current bid in the United States Federal Bureau of Prisons? Hopefully not, but I have absolutely no doubt that Anglin would instantly cower and back down like a timorous, pusillanimous poltroon (or, in layman’s terms, a pussy punk bitch) if confronted by me or anyone else in real life. Anyone who goes absolutely out of their way to portray themselves as some hyper-masculine internet tough guy is almost certainly a sniveling coward in real life. As those auld-farrant philosophers the Geto Boys once so eloquently put it, “real gangsta-ass niggas don’t flex nuts, ‘cuz real gangsta-ass niggas know they got ‘em.” Anglin was almost certainly bullied in school (most likely by kids belonging to the ethnic groups that he now so vehemently despises) and now wants the chance to be the bully, but, unfortunately for him, the only way that someone of his comically dimunitive stature could ever hope to be the bully is if they were to do so strictly in the realm of the internet, where nobody knows you’re a manlet (until they see pictures of you, that is, and almost everyone who has ever seen any pictures of Anglin has immediately busted up laughing). I do know one thing for sure, though: sometimes, it takes prison to put a stop — even if only temporary — to someone’s career as an internet troll. And you can take that from your wise old pal, Michael Slay.
ADDENDUM: It dawned on me after I wrote this article that, in all of my snide, sardonic, saturnine snickering and snarking, I, at times, come across like a pompous, arrogant, unctuous jackass with absolutely no self-awareness whatsoever who proudly wears the “KING OF TROLLS” title as some kind of badge of honor. As such, I would like to make this explicitly clear: there is absolutely no justification for any of the senseless, destructive, and antisocial activities that I was engaging in online. Andrew Anglin himself described me as “the most prolific troll to date”, but rest assured that I do not take any pride whatsoever in that. To the contrary, it’s a black mark of shame that will dog me for the rest of my life, and it’s something that I hope I will be able to move past in the coming years. Even if I never really intended for anyone to actually get hurt as a result of my online mischief, the simple fact of the matter is that my profoundly foolish and reckless online actions very well could have resulted in serious damage being done to real people, and it is very fortunate that I was arrested before my online shitposting inadvertently spilled over into real life. While it goes without saying that I will never apologize to any of the people talked about in this particular article (and I will certainly never apologize to the Australian government either), I do offer my sincerest apologies to the organizers of the Kansas City Stairclimb, who I caused a great deal of emotional distress to with the bogus jihadist plot that lead to my arrest (much more about that phony terror plot in the public statement that I previously published), and I also offer my sincerest apologies to any other innocent people who I caused mental turmoil to with my incredibly stupid, vile, obnoxious, and, at times, even downright monstrous online actions. If you are someone who I have hurt in the past — and you’re not rancid, scrofulous, scum-sucking subhuman plankton like Andrew Anglin — then I am truly sorry, and I earnestly hope that you can find it in your heart to forgive me. Most people on the autism spectrum tend to use their autism as an unlimited “get away with everything free” card, but not me. I accept full responsibility for my actions, and having autism provides absolutely no excuse for anything that I did. Thankfully, my thoughtless and fatuous actions in cyberspace never actually resulted in anyone getting tangibly hurt in real life, but they very well could have. Completely engulfed in the extremely negative and deleterious world of internet trolling, I showed absolutely no concern for how starting random online arson fires might actually result in real people getting hurt for real, and many of my online actions paint me as, as Anglin put it, “an unhinged psychopath”. That isn’t who I really am, and that certainly isn’t something that I take pride in — quite the opposite, in fact. As such, I just want to make that as crystal clear as I possibly can.
