The Art of Sucking at Everything

Morgan Scoboni
Nov 6 · 2 min read
Photo by Anh Nguyen on Unsplash

We all suck at something. The thing is, I suck in plenty of things. I suck at making pancakes and listening to classical music. I also suck at pairing my socks every morning. And above all, there is something where I suck the most: not caring about what others think of me.

This has been the most challenging year of my life. The outcome? I’ve learned I suck at too much stuff to make a list. Still, here are some of my personal favorites.

Sucking at simple life things

I suck at deciding what to have for breakfast — yogurt or lemon cake? I suck at parties. I suck at being alone, but I suck even more when things get crowded. I suck at writing. I suck at reading. I suck at waking up early.

I suck at deciding what to watch next on Netflix. (I always end up watching Hercules or Stranger Things). I suck at being on time with payments, though.

I suck at buying matching clothes. And when it comes to trends, forget it, I’m out. I suck at gardening my plants — they always die. I suck at washing dishes. I never take out the trash on time — something slithers on its insides. I suck in daily life.

I suck at love

I suck at love badly. I like too many people. I always arrive late when they are done with me. I suck at apologizing. I suck at staying in touch. I suck at saying I love you. I suck at sharing my feelings, opening myself to the unknown. I suck at crying.

I suck at quarrels. I suck at getting to know each other.

I suck at sucking.

I suck at thinking

I suck at history and at maths too. I suck at being intellectual — whatever that is.

I said it before: I suck at writing. I think what I mean is too apparent, nothing out of the ordinary.

I suck at traveling — I pack too many clothes. I suck at lying. I suck at learning new languages — still, I want to learn Sanskrit.

I suck at music taste — I like K-pop too much.

I suck at concerts — I don’t see the point in jumping for two hours.

I suck at playing the piano — I only know Pachelbel’s Canon.

I suck at remembering names — Is it Juan or Lucas?

I suck at geography — Iran’s capital is Bagdad.

I suck at politics — wait, I’m running for president.

I suck at writing this. And this is why I’m going to stop here before it’s too late.

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