I know how you feel. I went threw this alot and still do from time to time. However you are in control of this, happyness comes from within. No person on this planet can make you feel like you do but you. When I’m upset about things I draw or wright it down in my journal or on here. It gets all those pains out and makes life barable. Funny thing is when I feel like I’m dieing spirit has a simple way of showing me it’s ok to feel this way, it’s ok to feel. I’m also reminded of a story about two wolf’s one represents disparity and death and the other represent life, joy and hope. Witch will you feed? You can only feed one.