Answers to the ‘Which Disney Princess Should You Date’ quiz I am too lazy to actually make.

Philip Wels
Nov 18 · 3 min read
Photo by Jorge Martínez, instagram @jmartinezz9 on Unsplash

Congratulations! You should date Ariel!

You love curiosity, learning new things, and a enjoy a little bit of quirkiness in your relationships. Be prepared for a lot of dates on the beach and plan for plenty of aquatic pets in your future. Steer clear of sushi and seafood. You may need to occasionally buy new forks.

Congratulations! You should ask Belle out!

You love books and refuse to be confined to a mundane ordinary life. You long to travel, have adventures, and you’re incredibly ugly. Your neighbors may shake their pitchforks at you, but if you open up your heart to Belle and show her your kindness she’ll defend you with a loyalty fiercer than animated furniture. You’re likely getting the better deal in this relationship.

Congratulations! You’ve matched with Aurora! (Sleeping Beauty)

For you a perfect day is turning off the alarm clock and going back to bed. You don’t care if it’s a magic spell or simple laziness, you’re just looking for someone to help you hit snooze and look lovely doing it. She may be shy at first, and terrible at sewing, but she loves being woken from a nap with a kiss.

Congratulations! Swipe right on Snow White!

You love animals and short people and can’t have enough of either in your life. Beware, Miss White does come with enemies and many may be jealous of her beauty. She loves to clean and cook, but doesn’t always get along with people who use mirrors. Think twice before planning that fall trip to the apple orchard.

Congratulations! Jasmine might be your match!

When flirting you can never get enough sass. You enjoy flying and hate traditions. You’re looking for a cat person who will love you for the broke, poorly dressed, failure that you are, and not because their parents told them to. Find an ornate tapestry and convenient rooftop for your first date. Treat her well and all your wishes might come true!

Congratulations! Mulan is the one for you!

You want a woman who is fierce, determined, and can cosplay as a man for weeks at a time. Martial arts training is a plus. You’re not intimidated by a girlfriend who could kill you in a fight and love that she can hold her own when out with the boys. You love pet lizards. Honor and respect are important traits in your relationship and if you you put in the time, Mulan will make a man out of you.

Congratulations! You should ask Merida out!

The best word to describe your relationships is: Wild. Wild bears, actually. From her hair, to her “make her own path” personality, to her almost understandable dialect this woman is every unexpected thing you’ve been waiting for. Be prepared for bad decision making and crazy stories provided you both live long enough to tell them.

Congratulations! Pocahontas is your soulmate!

Nature is your home and making peace is your calling. In a relationship you’re looking for someone who hates mining, foreigners, and whose grandmother is a tree. Many hiking trips and picnics are in your future. If you marry it’ll be for love, not gold. For best results, buy necklaces in sets of two and don’t make rabies jokes about the trash panda.

Congratulations! You should date Cinderella!

You’re looking for someone who can cook, clean, and take care of all the menial tasks around the house. Preferably without complaint. You want a partner with great feet. You’re willing to drive around a bright orange car for the rest of your life. Her family is a little bit insane, but that only makes Cinderella’s competence shine brighter. Be prepared for drama around lost footwear and late night curfews.

Congratulations! You matched with Rapunzel!

You have a thing for long hair and are comfortable with not going out much. You live on the top floor of an apartment complex and have most of your meals delivered. You long for adventure and seeing the world, but watching travel shows and Planet Earth documentaries is usually all the excitement you’re allowed each day. Be prepared to unclog a lot of bathroom drains.

Philip Wels

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It’s never too early to start thinking about lunch.

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