Pepsi Perfect is driving the Internet insane

12:17 ET. We are seventeen minutes into the chaos. The tension is rising.

A calm, measured opinion on the matter.

Whether it was Amazon’s sometimes funky merchant-based ordering system, or a glitch in the Pepsi mainframe, or a hiccup in the space-time continuum some people — somewhere — have managed to order a Pepsi Perfect before the magical date of 10/21/15.

PhotoJoJo420, Resident of the Future and future robbery victim.

People.

Are.

Pissed.

12:24 ET: Retaliations have begun. Each tweet rings out like a shot in the night. The Revenge Defectors have arrived. Only time will tell how much Coke they will consume in a sobbing, fitful rage.

This man was apparently so angry he made his child spite-cosplay at 1 in the morning.

In between the wails of the damned, seeking to melt the phones and brains of clueless outsourced Amazon reps the world over, some are spreading a sickening disinformation campaign. Further chaos is sewn.

They will also deliver it tonight, by horse.

12:27 ET. Somehow, hope lives:

BUT I WON’T SLEEP, I’LL JUST KEEP REFRESHING.

But whether they were all gone before the East Coast even hit midnight or Pepsi is still waiting for the full release doesn’t matter right now. Right now hoverboards are bullshit, flying cars would kill most of us after half a Mike’s Hard Lemonade, the Cubs are down 0–3 and Pepsi is giving the Internet a few massive short circuits in its implants.

UPDATE: The hope crowd has called Amazon until (presumably) some Customer Support ears bled. They and Walmart have confirmed no bottles were sold yet… probably.

Tomorrow the McFly lovers will awaken refreshed, the sun will rise, the birds will sing, and this will happen all over again when the real sell-out happens after approximately 45 seconds.