The Ebay Incident

People like me should never use Ebay to sell anything. Ever.

I recently sold a couple of items on Ebay. One was a Halloween costume my 12 year old used last year, and the other was a very expensive pair of Nike sunglasses, which, you know, were going to propel my average athletic self to a completely new level.

The Halloween costume was easy enough to part with. I thought what the hell, Halloween is right around the corner, I’m sure some wee lad could use this thing and I could save another parent from costume store lines and the retail tag of 60 bucks. I listed it, admittedly a bit half hazard. It was the weekend and on the weekends I typically get pulled in a few different directions from the kids and spouse, all at the same time.

I posted it! It was quick and easy. That should have been my first warning sign!

Without a second to waste, I dove into the second listing…the sunglasses. I specifically wrote in the description, “I paid over $300 for these shades…willing to let them go for a reasonable price.” I left out the part about how the lenses collided with my eyelashes. No I don’t have freakishly big lashes…but they are full.

Having listed both items, I was off to tackle the next item on my agenda, I think it was dropping someone off at a friend’s house…or was it picking someone up? It didn’t matter. I just listed 2 items on Ebay within 4 minutes. I can do anything!

Today I was informed that both items sold. It’s been a busy week. I forgot I even listed them. The selling prices? $5 bucks for the costume and (drum roll please) $10 bucks for the sunglasses. “How the hell did this happen?!” I exclaimed.

My wife looked up the sales on my account. Apparently I opened up bidding at 99 cents, per Ebay’s recommendation of course. Oh, and I included free shipping as well. Brilliant.

So today I found myself at the post office…one of my favorite places on earth, to send off the goods to their rightful new owners, literally, on my dime. All in, I paid $59 to give away my merchandise, not to mention the time and gas involved in this little excursion.

I’m sure I’m not the first person who has done this, and in all likelihood, I won’t be the last. Which is why I’m launching, with your help, The ELM Awareness Campaign! Circulate my story to as many unassuming and absent-minded potential sellers of unwanted merchandise you can think of, and together, we can eliminate Ebay Listing Mistakes forever!

Cheers!

Finely