My day off
The sun is still shining.
Its still hot as fuck. The heat is all encompassing.
I am sitting here thinking about the day i had off. It was full of nothing until I got a private message about a shooting. At first thought I sat there and shrugged it off as just another day and another death. I was wrong.
10 minutes from my house this cat sold CDs. Some of the most random shit but at the end of the day it was another cat getting his hustle. But thats just it. A hustle. Now we all know and saw the video. I know we all feel the outrage. The anger. The hurt. The gamut of emotions running through all are veins. We watched as a man was killed. There will be a lot of discussion. Arguments. Rants. All around fuckery making a mockery of this mans passing. But if you sift through the bullshit, you will see that only one thing is underlying…
Another is dead and it could have been me.
I have friends on all sides. Police, firefighters, EMTs, hustlers, dealers and other ne’er do wells. We all have respect for one another and treat each other with the same. Not all are out for the kill or to hurt another. But within every thing there is a semblance of bad.
I watched as my own people instead of eulogizing they chanted Fuck the police. Instead of taking this moment to rise up and come together they turned it into another goddamn block party.
I am watching as my social media feed turns brother against brother. Friend against friend who just the other day was celebrating the birth of a child, or another birthday of another. Just one moment when 2 men took it upon themselves to end the life of another wound up turning all of us against one another. Thats what our doubters would want. To seed dissention within us. But no one will see that.
No one will see the hurt that this moment has caused amongst our community. We see cats screaming that we should be prayed up. That this will solve our ills by turning our lives over. To be honest its not solving shit. Action against one another is not the answer either. Killing will only beget more killing. Death will only bring more death.
Then I woke this morning and saw a 15 year old cry.
My anger has subsided. I mourn for us. A tear fell because at the end of the day a son lost a father. A community lost another brother. I want justice and clarity about all of this. I want our dead to honored. I want our brothers in blue to not have to face the hate because two animals with a badge decided to murder.
We are all in this together yet we are being turned against one another.
Yet will we see that.
Its one thing seeing it on the news and watching interpretations from pundits but actually physically being here before the inferno of hate thats about wash over the city i grew up in, the city im rekindling a love affair with is a hard, bitter pill to swallow
And I close my eyes and think that 10 minutes up the road, it could have been me.
The sun is still shining at least.