A question for the good people of America. (Nov 2016.)

Right now, amid the clamour of young liberals, armchair intellectuals and passive conservatives all vocally losing their collective minds over the advent of President Trump, I suppose an Aussie making any point about the monumental farce that was the 2016 US election is an exercise in futility.

And I might seem misguided kicking some of the very people who are currently crying, shaking and tweeting in disbelief that this could happen to their beloved country. Especially when they share my values.

But I need to vent. And you’ve read this far, so you’re probably wondering why they deserve a foreign foot up the ass. Trust me, they do.

I’ll start by making an important point.
I hate Donald Trump.
I hate everything he is and everything he stands for.
His only redeeming feature, if you can call it that, is that he’s a pathological liar — which provides the dim glimmer of hope that he doesn’t really support some of the stupid, racist, misogynistic and xenophobic ideas he has espoused over the last 18 months. Make that years.

But while I can stand neither the look of his ridiculous face, nor the drone of his patronising voice, nor the coif of his appalling hair, I have to give it to the guy. He basically said, ‘I’m going to run for president and I’m going to win’. And that’s exactly what he did. It’s probably the only time he’s told the truth and I can’t begrudge him the victory. So he’s not to blame. I’m sure he’s as surprised as the rest of us.

And no matter what you believe about the ‘folks’ wearing red baseball caps and waving flags from the back of pick-up trucks, it’s not their fault either. Despite their understandable grievance with Hillary (a simultaneous insult to feminism and human dignity, if I’ve ever seen one), they gave the Donmeister fewer votes than they gave Mitt Romney four years ago. Mitt fucking Romney, for Jesus Christ of the Latter Day Saint’s sake!

So if you’re an American who is pissed that a deluded demagogue is now your commander in chief, statistically, you’re may be blame. If you’re so gosh-darn Anti-Trump, it was your job to stop him, and most of you you didn’t bother.

Let me explain.
According to the United States Election Project, nearly half of eligible voters did not vote in the 2016 election. Predictably, Democrat and Republic voters made up the majority of those who turned up.
And the arcane details of the electoral college system aside, which worked in Trump’s favour it would seem, the two candidates were pretty closely matched, vote for vote.

Here’s the breakdown:
Of 231,556,622 eligible voters:
46.9% didn’t vote
25.6% voted for Clinton
25.5% voted for Trump
1.7% voted for Johnson — basically pissing their ‘protest’ vote up against a star-spangled wall.

In the swing states, the only ones that actually matter, this is how close it was:
36.5% didn’t vote
30.9% voted for Trump
29.9% voted for Clinton
And let’s not even bother with the protest votes here. No one cares.

The numbers don’t lie. There’s a pretty high likelihood you or some of your friends didn’t turn up on election day. And it wouldn’t have taken many of you to make that crucial difference.

In case you’re not aware of this fact, your Facebook update doesn’t count as a vote.
Sharing an ironic meme doesn’t count as a vote. And burning the American flag in protest the day after the biggest insult to democracy since Richard Nixon has occurred, does not count as a vote.

The only way anyone with a brain or a conscience could have stopped Donald J. Trump from making a complete mockery of America (and potentially fucking up the rest of the world, where I happen to live), was to turn up and fucking vote. Not that hard, really. And if you didn’t, you’re an apathetic asshole, and this is all your fault. So I think it’s time you quit your whining.

And remember, if you don’t like having a pussy-grabbing, pincer-fingered jizzlobber for a President, make sure that you and all of your friends clear your diaries around this time in 2020.

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