So I get a shout to pick up a fare to the airport and make a quick dash to pick the guy up.

“Hello Sir, cab for William, right?

“Ahhh you’re angliscising it because you’re English” says William sounding pissed off as he climbs in and slams the door.


“You are angliscing it because You are English” spits William again as he plonks his overweight frame onto the rear seat.

“Its Liam…the name” hisses William/Liam.

“Oh, just following the instructions on the screen Sir. It says William here!”

“Oh, well, I am Irish and its Liam. The English would be William” says the ex William now Liam, in a very thick Scouse accent.

“Everyone is Irish in Liverpool, didn’t you know that?!”

“No Sir I didn’t realise that. I wasn’t trying to insult you, its just my screen said William is all!”

‘Ha Ha, we are all Irish in Liverpool, came over on the boats! What team do you support?….Millwall, Chelsea, Cockney aintcha?”

“Nah, don’t do football. Too much violence in the 70' and 80’s. Used to get yer head kicked in for looking at someone wrong on my estate. Plus its too tribal for me, people make too many assumptions about who you are or what your views are”

“What about you Liam? Its gotta’ be Liverpool right?!”

“Man U!”


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