My Sex(less) Life and Maybe Your Sex(less) Life Too
By Thomas Neff
I have never had sex.
I always wonder why losing my virginity is so important for other people to know about. Do you really want to know all the details? Why? I don’t.
As a gay teenager, I always felt a sort of pressure to have sex at a young age because all the gay guys I knew were already doing it. When I was 16, one of my fellow peers asked me about my sex life. I told him that I didn’t have one. He laughed and walked away. I was very offended by his laughter and began to think that it wasn’t normal for me to be a virgin.
When I got to college, I realized there were more virgins than I thought, but I felt the need to try and be someone I wasn’t. I told everyone about the “sex” I had been having. It may sound like I’m being fake, but the pressure I’ve felt to have sex is always in my mind.
In the gay community especially, I’ve noticed that no one really likes to have sex with virgins. I don’t really understand what’s that different with us. Is it the lack of experience? Is it the nervousness to hurt someone? I couldn’t tell you. The one thing I do know is that after many futile attempts, I had almost given up on myself.
In my dorms, the straight virgins weren’t chastised. Someone once brought up a gay virgin and laughed about how pitiful it was that they hadn’t had sex. I was sweating. I think that part of this has to do with stereotypes and the stigma surrounding young gay men and gay men in general. There’s a huge stereotype that we all start having sex at a very young age, which could be true for some people, but obviously not in my case. There’s also the misconception that we are sex crazed. Again, some of us may be, but not all of us.
Even within the gay community I feel disconnected due to the fact that my ass is intact. I’ve tried using countless apps like Tinder for example, but all guys want to do is trade pics and fuck guys with experience. I tell myself that they’re missing out. Missing out on what though? A tight ass and a member to suck on? Those are things they can easily find elsewhere.
Without considering the fact that I don’t try hard enough to get it, I wonder sometimes why guys don’t want to have sex with me and minus the whole virgin thing. Not to toot my own horn, but I’m pretty attractive. Maybe it’s the fact that I speak my mind and I’m not afraid to cause problems. If you hate me, I must’ve gotten you good. I know why none of the gay guys at my high school never went for it. I was popular, confident, nice, loyal, and I didn’t take shit from anyone so I was never really bullied. I’m still similar in college except no one here really gives a shit about anything or anyone’s business, which is great.
I also feel like I’m constantly digging a bigger grave for myself when I lie about having sex. People always come to me for advice although I really know nothing about the procedure. People always assume that I’ve had sex. Maybe it’s because of the way I flirt with guys, or the way I look. But all in all, they don’t really know me and that sucks. I really do want to tell the truth, but I already entered the maze of lies and now I can’t get my way out of this one.
So here I am now. Telling the world about my minuscule problem when set against the rest of the problems in our world. But hey, at least I have the balls to talk about this. So if any of you readers know me, I’m so fucking sorry for the lies. But if you know me well enough, I’m probably not that fucking sorry.
To all the fellow virgins out there who feel ashamed, don’t be. You are amazing and put how you love yourself before how others view you. Don’t give into the pressures of society. Go ahead and fuck when you’re ready to fuck.
FUCK THE STEREOTYPES!
FUCK THE STIGMA!
FUCK THE MOTHER FUCKING PATRIARCHY!
FDT FUCKING ALWAYS!
AND FUCK ME!
No, seriously, please fuck me.