Top Ten Ways Education is Just Like Sex Work
Besides sex work — mostly content creation, these days — I also teach and tutor. I’m constantly hustling, trying to make another dollar, always researching the next scheme. I’ve worked in education — from elementary schools to college — and I’ve done sex work. (I typically keep the two pretty separate and distinct, though I might be wearing sexy panties under my frumpy teacher clothes.)
I also write.
Here are, in my opinion, the top ten similarities between educational work and sex work.
One: As Traditionally Female Work, It’s Undervalued
Who hooks? Women. Who teaches? Women. Whose job is it to care for the menfolk and the children, always? Women.
Both sex work and education are historically jobs done by women, and both are jobs that are historically underpaid. As a full time public school teacher, I never made more than $50K/year, even with a masters and annual continuing education requirements. I’ve always had a side hustle — from phone sex to dog walking, I’ve tried it.
People say that sex work requires no, or minimal, skills. People say that those who can’t, teach.
I’ve heard it all.
The thinking is that anyone could do these jobs, and therefore we should pay very little for them. Public school funding is often tied to property taxes, and few Americans want to pay more for those.
Sex work and education are underpaid.
Two: New Technology is Helping To Change That…Possibly Even For The Better!
Everything from Google to Twitter is making it easier for the educator, and the sex worker, to find acceptable work. I have profiles on ******** (censored tutoring website that probably wouldn’t appreciate this particular exposure), ******** (censored teaching website, same), Fiverr (they can’t possibly care), OnlyFans, Megacams, and of course, my favorite: here on Medium. All of these are sites where real people can browse the profiles of other real people, picking and choosing someone who appeals to their needs or desires.
In both education and sex work, freelancers don’t need a huge following so much as they need a few loyal fans. True fans. A customer who buys everything I offer is valuable beyond words, and so much easier to find today than a decade or two ago.
Three: You Can Find Me Online, Or In All Sorts of Old-Fashioned Ways
Not including email, I have over a dozen online profiles selling everything from foot photos to English tutoring. That said, some of my favorite clients have come from good old-fashioned word-of-mouth. In fact, I’m currently offering a deal where clients get an hour free if they successfully refer someone to me. Wouldn’t you like to know the details of that, hmm?
I’ve also literally put fliers in certain locales that seem to appeal to clients I’m looking for. Like, with the pre-cut tab with the contact information that people can tear off, fliers. (Depending on the service, I suggest local naughty video/toy stores, liquor stores, libraries, and community colleges.)
I used Canva to make my fliers, by the way. And my Fiverr and YouTube thumbnails. I use iMovie for both sexy videos and professional teacher videos — the editing skills are all the same.
As they say, any publicity is good publicity.
Four: In-Person Encounters Are Nearly Always More Expensive Than Online
Yes, we can meet in person, if you’re willing to pay for it. You’re not welcome in my home, thanks, but I’ll drive to your house or a library. Gas is expensive these days.
Oh, and if we meet in person, you’re stuck with a minimum one hour visit.
Five: I Charge By The Hour, Unless You Think Fifteen Minutes Is Enough
This one is my husband’s favorite, especially when I tell him I have an hour booked for Sunday. (Spoiler: at this point in my life, it’s usually math, science, or English tutoring, nothing naughty, but it still makes him giggle.)
Sometimes, though, you have a client that knows exactly what they are looking for, and wants to pay as little as possible. These clients had better be online — again, gas — but Zoom and similar technology make it easy to do a 15 minute visit from the home office.
You can get a lot done in 15 minutes.
Six: I Have to Worry About Visiting Strangers in Their Home
There’s an added reason why it’s cheaper (and preferable! for everyone!) to meet online, whether it’s for sexy times or for tutorials. Going to a stranger’s house is inherently scary. These are people that know they can buy your time and expect, at least for their session, to have you at their beck and call. If something happens, only they know how to unlock the door, and if it’s one of those new-fangled code locks, you might be screwed.
Whether an educator or a sex worker, it’s a great idea to leave a record of the address you’re visiting and expected arrival/departure times. My husband can log into my computer and therefore all my accounts, but I need to get in the habit of writing a paper note that says ADDRESS and TIME.
Another similarity between sex workers and educators is that they both get to determine their boundaries: if you want a career where you never visit someone in real life? You can make that happen, thanks to many of the points enumerated so far. I could choose to only tutor pre-health veterans online, if I wanted, and probably still earn a living.
Seven: I Have to be Good With (And Without) People
Educators, from full-time teachers to freelance tutors, are often working as underpaid therapists. Sex workers — the same. The most cognitively demanding work I do is private algebra tutoring, because my students have often developed some weird psychological shit regarding themselves and math. One-on-one sex work, in person or camming, is surprisingly similar, as you start to uncover all sorts of weird psych shit that you’re somehow expected to integrate on the fly.
I also have to make a good impression in my social media, which is basically presenting a one-sided relationship. I’m cool and friendly! Hire me! Whether someone sells dirty media online or finds students via online profiles, presenting yourself well matters, online and off. Online is arguably more important than in person, since at least 80% of my freelance income comes from online relationships.
Another weird aspect of both education and sex work is having multiple clients, even when you’re just working with one person. Is a teacher ultimately beholden to the student, the parent, the principal, or the community? As a cam girl, or English tutor, what is my obligation to the platform that hosts me? Fun fact: sex sites and education sites generally take around the same cut from the income you generate for them — 15% to 30% on average, in my experience and research.
What if you’re responsible for getting a kid with dyslexia to pass ELA (sorry, that’s English/Language Arts), but the kid hates the idea of wasting any more time each week on school? What if your best customer is a married dude who shouldn’t be wasting money on OnlyFans? How do you navigate the different levels of social expectations, while making sure clients of all types get their money’s worth, yet you still get adequately paid?
Eight: The General Public Thinks Any Idiot Could Do My Job
I like to think that so far, I’ve presented fair evidence that both sex work and educational work involve a surprising degree of socioemotional competence, communication and marketing skills, even camera work and video editing. Little bits of a vast array of skills, and that’s not even touching on my actual subject expertise.
(Ok. Followers may know that I try to hide what I specifically teach, but I’ve worked a lot in preclinical medical stuff and health education. Prepare for a scandalous big reveal!)
One of my favorite things to teach is sex ed. I know the anatomy; I know the developmental physiology; I can teach consent and safer sex and all sorts of useful things. I’m kind of an expert in sex ed.
This definitely spills over into my sexual portfolio.
My point is, I have quite a few skills that allow me to excel in my many hustles and pursuits, both sexy and straight.
I dare you to substitute teach for a full school day, or to create 5 photographs of your ass that you’re willing to post online. Bonus points if you do both in one day.
A lot of people think that sex work is not even work, that it’s the lowest, most base “oldest profession.” A(not-that-)surprising overlap of people think that teachers are overpaid babysitters.
There is a real lack of appreciation of expertise in this world.
Even a kindergarten teacher has to understand how brains and development work, in order to provide appropriate material. Even a cam girl needs to build her business from zero followers.
The tragic side effect of everyone thinking they could do our job, is the obsession with dictating how we do our job. People are freaking the hell out over what public school teachers are allowed to teach. Sex work has long been more illegal than legal. People try to legislate the hell out of both educational work and sex work.
In either field, the public is failing to recognize that there are experts in these fields, and they know what works the best for workers, clients, and the community at large.
Listen to the experts, including the folks in the trenches.
Nine: Some of What I Do Isn’t Entirely Legal
Of course, prostitution isn’t legal in a lot of the world. You know that. I don’t know enough on the Nordic model to really have an opinion, but I think it’s clear we’re not properly navigating legal frameworks, yet. I know my husband broke the law when he saw his hookers, even though he did everything he could to ensure they were autonomous, 18+ business women.
What really grinds my goat is the ways education is also legally prohibited, in certain contexts.
I used to be on a squad of volunteer sex educators, back when I (censored — if you knew where I studied you might could figure out my secret identity!).
I taught in West Texas.
Sometimes, the requesting educator would give us the front address of the school, tell us to register as a volunteer in the office, and get a student worker to lead us to the proper classroom.
Sometimes, the gym coach would arrange for us to sneak in the side gym door, and if anyone asked, we were math tutors. We brought our PowerPoint on a thumbdrive, so there wouldn’t be an email record.
I later learned that Texas is an opt-in state, where legally, parents have to provide permission for their students to be taught any sex ed, including basic anatomy or how periods work. Texas is wild for abstinence-only-education, proven to lead to more pregnancies and more STD transmission. That’s definitely not what my team provided.
I later learned that in more than one case, I broke Texas laws regarding sex education.
Whoopsie daisy!
If I had it to do over again, I would.
Ten: I Might Die On The Job
Ahh, shit, Tiddy, this wasn’t supposed to get dark.
Sorry. I’ll make it up to you soon, just stick through this.
One reason I quit teaching full time in public schools is that I kept having depressive breakdowns, including time in psych hospitals. The full-day (and full-evening and sometimes full-night) schedule was part of it, the mentally ill students and their parents surely played a factor… but the part I still have nightmares about are the active shooter drills. I would ask myself which students I would die for, during these drills — and the shitty answer was all of them.
I live in the United States; at least 5 times a week I wake up in a cold sweat only to find there’s not actually a gun pointed at my head.
Sex workers, too, face murder as an occupational hazard.
I don’t have a solution for this, but I do know that guns and domestic violence often go hand-in-hand, and that the current situation is not sustainable.
A Few Conclusions
To me, the most obvious conclusion is that educators and sex workers — male, female, or otherwise — are siblings-in-arms, with more in common than we have dividing us. We get to know individual clients, what they need from us, and we create experiences that help lead them where they want or need to go. Laws that help raise minimum wage, reduce gun violence, and promote equality help us all.
We need to change our laws not in favor of what the big companies want and are willing to pay for, but what is evidence-based/shown to make a difference.
We need to acknowledge that research into education and research into sex work are valid, and often contribute to actionable data points. Professorships and grants in these fields both need to be encouraged.
We also need to acknowledge that sex ed is generally a good thing, that people who learn how their bodies work often live happier lives and make better choices. Whether you learn the basics of risk reduction — how to reduce the odds of pregnancy, STDS, or emotional harm — from a schoolteacher or a prostitute, we need to make sure this information is out there in the world.
