I got a new manager recently, and in our first conversation, he asked me where I wanted to be in five years. It was a simple question, but also one I’ve struggled with quite a bit over the years.
I decided to become a software engineer after taking my first Computer Science class at Harvey Mudd, a small college whose claim to fame is quasi-gender parity in the Computer Science major. It was a great, supportive environment. But learning to code there also meant I got sold on a vision of meritocracy — where the smartest people succeeded and where women and men were both given a fair chance at success. I came into the industry expecting more and I’ve ended up getting disappointed.
In that conversation, my manager also told me I have talent and asked me to dream big. 18-year-old me dreamed of working on bigger projects, of leading a team, and I still cherish that ambition. But 25-year-old me is no longer naive enough to believe that the glass ceiling doesn’t exist.
Simply put, I’m not sure that I want to participate in an industry which has shown that it doesn’t want diversity. When I look at Hacker News’ response to to an amazing post on the diversity battle at Twitter, I see an industry that still wants to deny the existence of racism and sexism altogether.
While this might be a personality flaw, I’m no Sheryl Sandberg and I don’t want to Lean In amid a persistent, male-oriented nerd culture that actively drives women out of the field. Every woman in tech has a ‘burn it down’ plan — what you’ll do when you quit tech — and I’ve made mine too.
For me, the question of where I see myself in five years can’t be answered without asking where the industry will be in 2020. I see change happening, and I’m hopeful that we’ll be in a better place in a couple years. If not, there’s always running an organic farm 😊
