A lot of assumptions made here lesbians feeling inferior to men and heterosexual women feeling sexually inferior to bisexual women, as being reasons for this “phobia” that I don’t agree. I appreciate the perspective of the author so I can read it and not feel too defensive. It does feel a bit disingenuous when at the outset of this essay the author writes:
“ When we need to resort to coercive shaming to convince others of our point of view, doesn’t it kind of imply our point of view may be wrong?”
But is she shaming anyone? I don’t think she intended to, hence my appreciation of the essay, but still. There’s a hmm there.
However, a poll from 2013 compiled by the Pew Research Centre did discover a surprising large percentage of long term relationships found with bisexual people with an opposite gender partner. The massive 2013 Pew Research LGBT Survey found 84 percent of self-identified bisexuals in committed relationships have a partner of the opposite sex, while only 9 percent are in same-sex relationships. (this was taken from a Slate article, found here.)
It could be the reasons for this have been explained in the essay above and the article I’ve linked, but I think there’s something to be said for this finding that goes beyond societal expectation and convenience. Maybe people have to experience both sexes as partners before determining how they identify, sexually. Maybe bisexuality in the most part is about a short time of discovery, a temporary state, usually when we are young. Or not.
I don’t have a real opinion as its far from being properly formed due to ignorance but I am trying to learn and I am trying to discover information through various sources. One thing I do believe is a lot of supposed “phobia” towards bisexuality can be the view that a lot of people just don’t know what sexual preference they have and frankly, that’s okay. Jumping from one sexual identity to the next isn’t a bad thing either, but assuming one is bi-phobic because they perceive a person’s ambiguity as not being a genuine bisexual is dialogue shutting and ignorant itself.
Hey, then again, we can simply mind our own business and support whatever a person in our lives wants in terms of their happiness in relationships. That works too, I think.