This morning I weighed myself to get an accurate figure of where I was starting at. I pulled myself out of my nice comfortable bed just so that I could go stand on a scale and wait dreadfully for the number that would pop up. Imagine my surprise when I only weighed in at 423 pounds, it put a smile on my face. It was even more so positive when I checked how much I weighed from my last physical, which was in September or so of last year; the sheet told me that I was only 420 pounds which is a huge achievement for me because I’d only gained 3 pounds instead of the 100 I thought I did. It made me think about perception vs. reality and how me, as an obese person, thought that I was bigger than my actual weight when in actuality I weighed significantly less on the scale.
Aside from all of that, lunch was a struggle for me. Not because of limiting myself from eating large meals or anything like that, but because I had forgotten my prepared lunch at home. I tried making a chicken lemon piccata–which went well–, a salad with fruit and some dressing that I prepared (lemon, milk, honey). I was really looking forward to trying everything together, but I left the house late and forget it sitting in the fridge. :( Oh well. Instead I had to leave my internship to find some food (which was a plus since it added some steps and got me moving). But the choices! As soon as I stepped outside I was met with the waft of frying burgers, sizzling meat and the decadent smell of chocolate, brownies and desserts. In the end I navigated myself through Princeton to Panera Bread (which was 0.2 miles away from where I left) with the help of waze and got some french onion soup with an apple.
I didn’t think something this small could fill me up extensively. But it did, if only for a little while. My mood is lifted because I weigh less than I thought I did and I feel like the soup and apple was a really good choice for me. I’ll be writing again tomorrow, this journey seems fun but will it prove to be favorable?
** If you want to, support me on Paypal; this goes to ensure that I can eat when I get to college and choose healthy options for myself instead of the school cafeteria: https://www.paypal.me/Murabbi4