Embracing your inner “I”s

A simple guide to discover your true self.

Who am I? I am Legion.

Who am I ?

The year is 2018, and identity crises are at an all time high. The definition of who we are has been warped into one of, how we think others see us.

In a push to be more inclusive in society, we have come up with hundreds of new labels and groups to give everyone a place they belong. However, we fail to realize just how damaging these can be when trying to answer one of life’s most important questions.

Who am I?

Let me give you a sense of where I’m coming from real quick. Take a look at the following list. These are a few questions that are considered by others when trying to figure out who you are on the inside.

  • What is your political affiliation?
  • What is your sexual orientation?
  • Are you a dog or cat person?
  • Do you watch anime?
  • Do you think MJ is the GOAT? (There’s only one real MJ and he made Thriller)
  • Etc, etc, etc…

The labels that others use to define us are extremely limiting and lazy. However, they are easy and simple to understand so we embrace them without giving much thought. The original question? It is left unanswered and unfulfilled.

Who am I?

It’s a question I’ve frequently asked myself of late. I could answer everyone of the bullet points previously listed and no one reading this would be any closer to knowing who I am on at my core.

So I sat in front of my mirror.

Took a look at myself.

And went a little deeper.

After some self reflection I came up with some I’s that I believe can work as a guide to figuring out who you are where it matters the most. Within.


You have several “I”’s within you. This doesn’t mean you have dissociative identity disorder. It means the “I” at your core is fluid, and has multiple forms/faces. If you believe this, you can see just how foolish it is to use general characterizations to define yourself. To make sure this self-reflection method worked, I used myself as a guinea pig. (You’re welcome)

The “I” that I started with was..

Intimate

While practicing holistic self reflection, a good place to start is with the intimate moments in your life. When you want to get to know someone, ideally you hope to spend intimate time with them. It is there that you find out just how compatible you both are.

So let me ask this. How compatible are you with yourself?

This question sounds ridiculous, but I have witnessed countless people do things simply because they thought they were supposed to like it. It’s important to have control over your own happiness. The only way this can happen, is if you know yourself intimately. For example. If you don’t like drinking alcohol, there is no mandate that states you have to drink just because you play on a sports team. (I knew a boy like this, he now rarely drinks and is much happier for it).

I love you too King Kunta

Revisiting joyous, intimate moments, can motivate us in times of adversity. During self reflection, it helps to take time and revisit those moments to find the common denominators within them. For me: my siblings are usually involved, or its video games, or a YA fiction book.

By knowing yourself intimately, you have more control over your reality. You have the power of choice, and I suggest choosing to be in situations that positively resonate with the most intimate parts of your inner “I”s.

Insecurities

We all are man. It’s cool

We all have insecurities. They are present whether or not we acknowledge them. The danger begins when we ignore these insecurities as they linger in the back of our minds throughout our day to day activities. Sometimes, they disguise themselves as the “flaws” we see in our peers. Meanwhile, the truth is these flaws, are usually a projection of parts of our persona we find ugly or unsettling.

Instead of attacking your poor friend, I encourage you to take time during your self reflection to really analyze what parts of yourself you may dislike or even be uncertain about. These can be recent, or insecurities stemming from events in the past.

Growing up I had several insecurities. Some of which stuck with me into my adult years. I’ll share a few:

  • Growing up in a predominantly white town I spoke different than most of my black relatives and friends. Somedays I felt I was not “black enough” because I wasn't hip to the slang or even music references.
  • I used to hide Japanese manga comics inside of Sports Illustrated magazines and read them in the back of the library in high school. I didn’t want anyone to know that the kid on the soccer team was a “geek”
  • Before my dark skin was fetishized and referred to as“chocolate” , it was usually called “burnt” or “crispy”. I laughed at those jokes the loudest, not knowing I was hardwiring myself to think I was unattractive.

Im not sharing these examples to say my upbringing was rough or cruel, it actually was quite enjoyable. I share these because I did not know any of these were insecurities until recently. It was during my self reflection that I realized some of these issues, still burdened me to this day.

The best way I have learned to live with my insecurities is to embrace them. By acknowledging I have parts of myself I am uncomfortable with, I became secure in my insecurities. It changed my perspective on these aspects of myself, and helped me feel more comfortable with who I was in the world.


The last “I” that I dove into was arguably the most impactful “I” of them all.

Intent

Couldn’t say it any better Ava

Our intent is what gives meaning to our actions.

In Buddhism, intention is the main generator of Karma. An example of this is kicking a dog. (I know its horrid but bare with me)

In one scenario, you trip over a door mat and stumble forth, accidentally kicking your dog in the process. You’re apologetic and instantly console your furry friend. No bad Karma here.

In another scenario, you walk into the house, you’re upset, and you kick your dog. (and hopefully the police take you away). Bad Karma is generated.

In both scenarios, the dog has been kicked. But your intentions are what set apart the true outcomes. This logic can be applied to events that occur in our lives.

The only person in the world we can not lie to is ourselves.

Your intent does not only impact you, but it impacts your entire world. There is a direct correlation between your intent as you move through life, and the type of energy you put out as well. In my experience, the energy you put out into the universe, is the same type of energy that is received back from the Universe. When your are self reflecting, be sure to analyze what you intentions are. Did you do something nice out of love? Or did you expect something in return.

Ill end this post with my own personal experience. My life had reached a low point a few months ago and it seemed like there was not much I could control.

Then I looked in the mirror, and reflected. When I did, I started to see the “I”’s that made up my true self. They were way more confident and determined than I was. They knew where I wanted to go, had no doubt I could get there.

So I set three goals for myself this summer, in hopes of dragging that version of myself out.

If you feel lost or confused like most of us do, do not look too far, for guidance. The truth is all the answers to your problems can be found within. We just have to make an effort to focus to the parts of ourselves that matter the most.

Take some time and focus on your inner “I”’s. When you do, you’ll realize the answer to the question — who am I?

The answer?

You are finding out more about yourself everyday. The more you self reflect, the more that will be revealed, and the more the world around you will assist you in finding the answer.

You are more than any flimsy label that this world can place on you, once you realize this, no one can tell you who you are.

Then, you become unstoppable.

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