“ I have health issues, too (although not as serious as yours), but I know God wasn’t the one who gave them to me.”
My condition runs in my family. My grandmother had them, as well as one of her sisters, for example. You know what that means, right? It means, according to you, that if my existence is not an accident, that YHWH specifically intended for me to be born with a neurological disorder that could possibly kill me; one that in fact nearly has several times. That doesn’t make YHWH a God of Love, but Sadism. It’s like you folks never think of the consequences involved in some of the statements that you make. Also, I know my life isn’t an accident. My parents had unprotected sex once married, and I was born as a result. That may demystify things, but there’s equally enough wonder in the very process of conception — as well as pleasure — for me to marvel at without supernatural trappings to it. I respect those who believe differently.
Secondly, I know what scripture teaches. I grew up a Christian, and studied religious criticism — among other things literary — at my alma mater, all the way from Augustine (I loved him) to Wheatley, Walker, Truth, Garnet, and onward. I had plenty of “spiritual” experiences as well. There are things the religion can no longer reconcile for me as it does for others; it’s not a matter of me not understanding what the Christ’s love represents. That love is simply not enough for me any more.
Thirdly, my Epilepsy is not why I became skeptical, and I am not wasting my life by being something other than Christian. It’s quite fulfilling, if not liberating, in fact. There are those — such as yourself — who feel the same with Christianity, and for good reason, given what it offers spiritually. Several figures in history that I respect found inspiration in it, including the very first person to conceive the Big Bang theorem; he was a Belgian Catholic. The Father and Mother of education in my father’s homeland were Catholic as well. But Christianity is not the only religion — whether theistic or atheistic — that offers something to an individual. It’s not the only way for me to find joy in my life, and it most certainly doesn’t have a monopoly re: answering the great dilemmas of our existence.
“What a waste it would be if you were to die young from your illness without having come to know the One who made you and would graft you into His family if you’d just die to yourself and live to Him.”
There are sooooo many problems with this sentiment, but I’m gonna let you cook. Great speaking with you.