90’s Movies That Would Be Way Better With Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson

Are we that different? Are we not all human? Do we not all wake up at 3am, drenched in sweat, plagued by the very same question: what if 2016’s highest-paid actor, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson was the highest-paid actor during the golden age of light-but-totally-rockin’ action movies, the 1990’s?

POINT BREAK (1991) — Starting with a tough one. Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson would be an undeniably great Johnny Utah. No stranger to football or police work. But can you deny him as Bodhi? I guess you don’t become 2016’s highest-paid actor by getting pigeonholed into a single type of role. Either way, I am here for The Rock surfing.

PATRIOT GAMES (1992) — The early 90’s were a great time for Tom Clancy movies. I’m picturing Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson losing a solid 30 pounds to become the CIA-analyst-turned-reluctant-action-star Jack Ryan.

MRS. DOUBTFIRE (1993) — Ok. Obviously, this is not an action movie. Unless you count the high-stakes dinner scene. But you know, somewhere deep in your heart, that there is a giant, cross-dressing-nanny-sized hole in Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson’s resume that is just waiting to be filled.

TRUE LIES (1994) — The best thing about Arnold is he never bothers to lose his natural accent for his roles. If you can get past that, there is literally no Schwarzenegger movie that wouldn’t benefit from recasting him with Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson.

INDEPENDENCE DAY (1996) — This is actually a perfect movie as is. You’d all be dead if it wasn’t for my David!

THE ROCK (1996) — I mean, come on. The fact that there is a blockbuster action movie called The Rock that doesn’t feature Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson is an actual crime that should be punishable to the full extent of the law.

CON AIR (1997) — Stop reading for a moment. Now imagine Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson running away from an explosion with long, flowing brown hair with just a touch of grey in it.

LETHAL WEAPON 4 (1998) — Can you imagine if they replaced that old racist with the world’s highest-paid actor?! And versus Jet Li in his prime?! I’m not getting too old for that shit!