On the 8th Day, God Received Client Feedback

Aaron Konter
Jun 6, 2016 · 2 min read

Morning, God! Thanks for hopping on the phone with us. We just love your work! Such an ambitious project, and you even finished ahead of schedule. Overall, we think it’s really great, of course, but we have a few minor notes for you. Nothing you can’t handle. Let’s dive in, shall we?

Day 1:
We see you created The Heavens and The Earth. Love that. We’re predicting people are going to respond really well to that concept. The name though… Earth. Earrrth… Earthhh… Could we maybe think of another name? This one feels a little forced.

We really dug when you spoke light into existence, though. The level of craft and talent there… wow. But listen, next time, if you wouldn’t mind running something like that through legal first, that would be so great.

Day 2:

Ok, so we see that you separated the waters. We would have never thought of that! So the whole planet is an ocean? And then the rest of the water forms a separation between “Earth” (see day 1 feedback) and The Heavens? What if, instead of an ocean, it was fire! Oh, that would be so cool! I know my kids would love something like that. Take another stab at it, if you don’t mind.

Day 3:

Hey God, this is Steve from accounts! When you were talking about the whole Day 2, planet-full-of-ocean-maybe-fire thing I was going to stop you right there, but boy am I glad I didn’t! Loving what you did here on Day 3 with the creation of a continent. Because I was going to say that making the whole planet water seems a little short-sighted. But you didn’t do that. So great!

Day 4:

We don’t have much to say here. The stars were a nice touch.

Day 5:

Alright, creation of sea inhabitants. We don’t get this, God. They are so weird looking, no offense. The Squid is a no. The Crab is a no. And I can tell you right now, legal will never approve the Shark. Our in-house designer, Kelly, couldn’t be here this morning- big yoga conference- but she’s definitely going to want to weigh in on this so let’s just hold off on this day altogether.

Day 6:

Creation of Man. Quite the undertaking! And they turned out so… naked. We get it- it’s in your image, but would you consider maybe throwing a shrub, or- and this is just off the top of my head so don’t judge, I’m not an idea guy- maybe some of those sea weeds over them? I don’t know. I think we’ll want to focus group this one.

Hey God? Steve again. We noted that you’ve named this man Adam. Our president has a son named Horsehead, after the place he was conceived, so if it’s all the same to you, let’s sub out Adam for Horsehead. He’ll love that.

Alright! Good talk. Since you took yesterday off, would it be possible to turn these changes around by the end of the day?

Aaron Konter

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I have thoughts. Sometimes they go here, sometimes they move to the suburbs and die a slow death.