I’ll be 40 in a few years and I’m told that I have plenty of time to make things happen. But I feel like time is running out and I’m not sure what I want to do because I have many hobbies, pages of ideas for stories or creative inspirations, yet I still have to make a living and pay bills. I’m ok with what I’m doing for now which I’m freaking fortunate to have. But it makes me sad to see cashiers at stores, waiters at restaurants, or anyone at a job who is visibly unhappy. Have they been beaten down? Are they lost too? Or are they unable to go for what they want? I don’t know how to help them and I fear helping them because when someone decides that they can’t help themselves then they become dangerously dependent on others. Everyday I hear the malicious criticism I’ve received ever since I was 16. I loved singing but didn’t have what it takes for music theatre. I love acting but I’m often told I don’t have a “good look” and nowadays I’m further discouraged for not having thousands of followers on social media. I love writing stories but all the writers groups I went to did NOTHING to help me grow, only to beat me down. I’ve been scammed numerous times, spent lots of money chasing dreams, seen enough heartbreak to send me over the edge, but I’m still here. I believe I have something to contribute to this world and I’ve seen evidence that not all people are cold hearted and egotistical. So being close to 40 I have to do what I can with what I’ve got, not because I want to be rich and famous, Hell no! I want to make a living being creative with arts and entertainment, as well as finding an audience who will appreciate what I can do.