Yesterday I got cut off on the road. It was an absolute dick move. It’s red and it turns green. I am on the left lane, there are cars on my right. This dude comes with a crazy speed at us. He hits his break and starts tailgating. I can’t go any faster, can’t go the right. He gives me a dirty look in my rear view mirror. Once I can go to the right lane he passes and gives me an aggressive look like I killed his dog.
At moments like this, I need to stay calm.
First of all, I don’t believe this guy is a dick all the time. If I heard my wife was having a baby at this moment I am sure I would drive like a bit faster than normal to the hospital. In a worst case scenario, I might hear my mother has not much longer to live. I live 2 hours away from her if I drive at a normal speed. I am pretty sure I can make it in 1.5 hours if I drive too fast. Is that worth having a talk with my mom for the last time of our lives? Yes.
We can’t judge. We don’t know why somebody does what he does. Maybe he is a dick, but even than we should not lose our own tranquillity. I am not sure about this, but I think “being a dick” is more a nurture type of thing than a nature type of thing. You might have some characteristics that turn you into an asshole sooner but your environment accelerates the process. What I am sure about is that people can go from being a dick to being kind. So now we can “pray” for them that they will choose the optimal strategy to life someday. Or maybe being a dick works for them. Who knows.
When my dad past away I was a dick for several years. Smoking a lot of weed and being drunk all the time didn’t help my DNA of being a bit more aggressive than most people. Aggressive channelled the wrong way turned me into a dick. Instead of being assertive I just end up hurting people. I regret being like that but sometimes our pain teaches our most valuable lessons.
A couple of years back I had the same situation. I decided to “mess with him”. He passed me from the right while I was driving on the left lane. We were going in the same direction but it was in a corner so I could not see where we were heading yet (we were on vacation. Location unknown and no signs). Turned out there was a hospital behind that corner.
Who was the dick now?
A bigger reason to staying cool in a dick move situation is that you are on your path to mastery. You need to channel your energy to that path. To have negative emotions like being pissed off and stressed the wrong way means you are losing focus on that what’s most important to you: Your path.
It’s critical mass. Everything needs to be at a certain level to get the ball rolling. Your character is one of your most important assets.
You judge somebody for being an asshole. This “asshole” is pissed off at your while you make eye contact with each other.
Now you decide what happens. Do you give him the pissed off look back? Will you stay on his lane just to mess with him? Or do you decide there are most important things in life. You breath in and out and you grow. You grow out of having to react and you grow into proactiveness. Until you mess up again and get pissed at something. But that’s life. And that’s growth. Stay focused on what’s important to your growth and do it. Everybody wants to succeed, not everybody does what it takes to succeed.