Ending Sexual Violence with Spiritual Self Defense

“Secrets,” Nadia Ann Abou-Karr

As women, girls, and people who exist on the feminine side of the bogus gender binary, we are always taught we must avoid rape, and we’re always given tips on how to do so. These tips don’t acknowledge that sexual violence happens to people of all genders, they place the onus on us to stop rape and they don’t keep us safe either. Hopefully the tips shared here will be a little more useful in surviving rape culture than holding your keys in between your knuckles as you walk to your car.

Unfortunately predators aren’t given the same constant education on how to avoid raping. We must be responsible for ourselves because we know that while we are constantly taught to control ourselves or risk being violated, they aren’t taught the same thing. In fact, their behavior is encouraged and looked at as being assertive and going after what they want.

Why is it that when we feel the most vulnerable is when we are most at risk of being attacked? Why do our chances of being raped increase exponentially once we’ve been raped once? It’s because once that experience has become part of our vibrational reality it becomes a possibility in our conscious mind. It’s because predators have a sixth sense that tells them who to target, and they can spot a victim when they see one. Since their sixth sense for choosing victims is overdeveloped, so too must we develop our senses to avoid being victimized. We must find ways to release the experience of sexual violence from the fabric of our consciousness on a multidimensional mind, body and soul level.

The truth is that all the things we’ve been taught on how to avoid being raped were lies. If they really worked we wouldn’t have the epidemic of “Me too” that is currently trending all over the internet. If someone bigger and stronger than us wants to attack us, having our keys in between our fingers isn’t going to stop them. Avoiding strangers doesn’t save us from rape in a world where most of us are victimized by those closest to us. Wearing conservative clothing won’t protect us, ask my Muslim sisters. Attempting to live by these stringent moral codes imposed on us by the patriarchy won’t keep us safe. All they do is make rape our problem to deal with, instead of everybody’s problem.

Where we do have control however is in elevating our vibration beyond that of victim status so that no predator sees us as someone they could, would or should victimize. This line of thinking gets into victim blaming territory very quickly and that’s exactly where I do not want it to go. As a survivor of rape, domestic violence and childhood sexual abuse I even have a hard time not victim blaming myself, because of how deeply this tendency is ingrained in the mentality of the society that surrounds me. If you’ve been victimized in any way by sexual violence and sexual harrassment, it’s absolutely 1000% not your fault in any way shape or form. Nothing you could have done would make it ok for someone else to violate your personal and sexual autonomy. I am deeply angry that we live in a world that makes us blame ourselves and hate ourselves when we’ve already been victimized by other people.

We also live in a world that draws a strict line between victim and victimizer, failing to recognize that in a climate with such rampant sexual violence, we are almost all victims of violence and we all hold the potential within ourselves to be victimizers as well. When we aren’t able to have space to talk about these issues in a nuanced way which recognizes this and takes a critical approach to self awareness, the path towards healing becomes blocked and we are at a worldwide standstill in which people are still victimized every single day in an intersecting web of race, class, and gender based violence (and more) and those who victimize them throw up their hands and refuse responsibility. I want us to all be more honest with ourselves and each other. That is step one to spiritual healing of sexual violence.

I want us all have more effective tools to avoid being victimized if we can help it. I’m not talking about mace, a knife or a gun. I’m not talking about having homeboys or male relatives to make a call to go beat somebody down. I’m talking about the most powerful form of defense we each have at our own fingertips whenever we want to call upon it: our own energy. With spiritual self defense we don’t have to physically fight off our attackers; we stop them long before it ever gets to that point.

With the concept of energy and energy healing we can go within to find any part of ourselves that is a vibrational match for the outside stimuli we are experiencing. If you’ve been victimized, what part of you still feels like a victim? We can neutralize that part and begin healing that energy, eventually removing that experience from your outside reality all together.

We can strengthen your aura, preventing spiritual, mental and physical attacks. When there is a break in the auric field every level of your well being is compromised. From here is is easy for a predatory energy to seek and find you. We can’t control what a predator does, and we can’t make them control themselves, but we can make our own energy field as impenetrable and unattractive to a predator as possible.

“Root Chakra Healing,” Nadia Ann Abou-Karr

We can root ourselves deeply in tradition and ritual so we have no question about who we are, whether or not we’ve been given that firm footing in our family or community. From that strong place of a firm foundation we are less likely to submit to or go along with anything that doesn’t feel quite right or doesn’t serve our highest good. The voice of our ancestors will scream through our intuition and we will know danger is on it’s way long before it arrives.

We can develop and strengthen our loving relationships so that we immediately know the difference between real loving energy and predatory energy masquerading as love. With a strong support system we’re less likely to be victimized by an intimate partner and in the case that we are, we have people we can trust to go to for support.

We can engage with these issues multidimensionally, recognizing we are mind, body, spirit and genetic memory, and one can’t exist without the other three. We are in this body for the long haul and we must do whatever we can to make it a safe place for our spirits to dwell.

We can teach these skills to each other and raise up our children, our loved one’s children and each other with the tools and knowledge to combat predatory energy everywhere we find it. We can support them in ending sexual violence so this isn’t a problem for the generations to come.

What are the specific skills and practices I’m talking about? Find out in my workshop, Spiritual Self Defense, featuring multidimensional techniques for healing and protecting your energy. Spiritual Self Defense is an all-ages workshop first offered to the students at the Girls Rock Detroit! summer camp for girls in 2017. It includes techniques for getting in touch with one’s own energy, recognizing the energy of others, and grounding energy for personal peace and safety. Contact me to bring this workshop to your class, group, organization, Sunday brunch, family reunion, workplace, gym or place of worship. www.beautifulbynadia.com

Nadia Ann Abou-Karr is an artist, writer, activist, beauty professional, energy healing therapist and all around paradigm shifter. For someone who’s been sexually violated repeatedly from childhood to adulthood, she don’t look like what she’s been through. Reclaiming sexuality and feminine power is a major part of her work, along with feeling safe and comfortable in the body through yoga, diet, energy healing and beauty therapy. She envisions a world where our children learn about these dark, sad times in history and are as horrified by it as we are when we watch a scary horror movie. All power to the people.