What Happens When One Fat Patient Sees A Doctor
Your Fat Friend
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I find my self-talk about weight loss always has this edge of…maybe “aggression”? So that the bottom line, even speaking in my own mind to no one but myself is that I fucked up, that it’s my fault. But when I reflect on whether the impulse toward taking “self” blame/responsibility is ‘good or bad’ (or maybe it’s better to say ‘healthy or unhealthy’) I wonder if the best choice would be responsibility but NO blame. Is that possible? I think so, but is it complete? No, certainly not without knowing what to take responsibility for! I guess I’m dancing around my own feelings, but I am overweight and I like feeling like I have the power to change that! How can I have that power and yet not have responsibility I guess? Maybe I can’t, I don’t know. I do know that sometimes people are pandered to and I don’t want that for myself, I want facts and truth and to be healthy, I want to not care about other people’s opinions, I don’t feel like I can tell other people how to live. All of that rolls up and I feel like….

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