The Tension Between #BlackLivesMatter and Black Respectability Politics
So many of us [read people of color/ multi-ethnic people] were socialized to behave a certain way in front of whites, but I will speak for myself. I was raised to understand that my education, manners, speech and overall disposition (period but definitely) in mixed spaces was important to people’s perception of me. It was critical to be polite but not too docile, intelligent but not a “know it all”, a presence but humble, and most importantly, non-threatening — So this intricate balance was necessary — these were the formulas for success and survival.
Although these lessons and expectations were never called by a formal name, I now understand them as Black Respectability Politics. The term “Respectability Politics” was coined in Evelyn Brooks Higginbotham’s “Righteous Discontent: The Women’s Movement in the Black Baptist Church, 1880–1920”. More popularly in Black American history, respectability politics was practiced as a way of attempting to consciously set aside and undermine cultural practices thought to be unvalued by wider society, especially with regards to the family structure and good manners. While Higginbotham’s piece was specific to women, it absolutely applies within the context of the behaviors of black people — thus the adaption of the phrase to Black Respectability Politics, which refers to the emulation of values and behaviors that seem to align with white ideals of whiteness.
What I wasn’t taught at home, but learned in the world, was that the perfect execution of this formula and Black Respectability Politics did not guarantee my survival; that my skin color was enough to make those things obsolete, to make me a threat. Sadly, my education, professional pursuits, role as a mom, daughter, wife, engaged community member, do not protect me — or my family, friends, and extended network. Over the months (years), I’ve seen Black and Brown men and women killed by everyday white citizens and cops alike with no real explanation or consequences for that matter. And I, like many of you are trying to make sense of it — am trying to understand and justify these extreme acts of violence that are becoming more and more normalized.
And for some of us, for POC, these age-old respectability politics come into play in an effort to explain what has not been. But as stated by Sarah Molano in her article, “The Problem with Respectability Politics”, “[o]n the surface, respectability politics appear harmless, even beneficial. One may feel that it makes complete sense to behave better if you’re seeking better treatment. But in reality, respectability politics are a tool for keeping oppressed populations oppressed.” Therefore, when we suggest that maybe if [insert victim name] were this way or that, or if they weren’t this way or that, this wouldn’t have happened, we inadvertently justify the wrongful actions against other Black people and oppress one another. As of late, these politics are being used amongst us and against us for not only the explanations of these unexplainable deaths but the ways we are processing our anger, frustration, and exhaustion of being targeted through protests and riots. I am hearing, “Yeah, we are mad but we can’t be out there looting”; “We’re giving them reasons to kill us”; “Maybe if we did [this, that, and the third] we wouldn’t be targeted”.
We have been so socialized, since slavery, to not behave like this or that, to not be a certain type of black, to not be a nigga — both by our own family, friends, community, and by white society (through various rewards like acceptance and economic advancement — and punishments — most notably, death). As David Christopher [photo contributor] so eloquently put it, “Because of how intricate structural racism is, it’s hard to see[accept] that we ourselves contribute to white dominance, by playing a role; by holding our tongue; by submitting ourselves”. These spoken and unspoken, deeply ingrained expectations have been the measure of success, but more importantly survival. And again I say, it hasn’t been a sound path. Breonna, Ahmaud, Iyanna, and George, and the countless other names from as way back as we can remember, show us that the hatred of black and brown people is so intricately woven into the fabric of our society — that being “respectable” is not enough.
Just as we have been socialized, so too have our white counterparts — some more explicitly in the ways of hate and discrimination, others more subtly so as to not even be aware of their privilege. We all need to be de- and re-programmed. But this is about us — We, POC, need to reevaluate our tools and means of survival, the ways in which we stand up for and against each other — which, I believe, is always a function of a deep love, responsibility, and desire for our collective freedom and survival. Because we can’t do this without each other, we can’t dismantle the systematic structures without unconditionally having each other’s back, without using our own resources, skills, and know-how to raise each other up in the ways we are each individually positioned to: Teaching, Protesting, Activism, Organizing, Fundraising, Counselling, Meditation, Art. Whatever it is, it won’t always look the same, but it shouldn’t include Black Respectability Politics consisting of us victim shaming and blaming; holding each other to unachievable, outdated standards that no longer serve us.
About Nakia Alston-Hendrickson
Nakia Alston-Hendrickson (she/her/hers) is a nonprofit fundraising professional with expertise in developing strategic partnerships, activating corporate social responsibility initiatives, and managing community impact programming. She has a deep commitment to youth empowerment through mentorship, educational programming, and workforce development. Nakia is also studying Organizational Leadership at Fordham University, is interested in the intersectionality of race and philanthropy. Harlem-born and Brooklyn-based, Nakia is also a mom, partner, and bibliophile.
