A day in the (exotic?) life

What is life as a transgender woman really like? Is it exotic? Does it revolve around trans issues? Do we all live ‘on the edge?’ Is it really, really different from other peoples’ lives? Well, here’s what a typical weekday looks like for me…

A normal working day…

It starts at 7 o’clock, when my Other Half, who wakes up before me, brings me a cup of freshly-brewed coffee. After I’ve opened my eyes and drunk it (hopefully without wearing any of it), it’s time for a shower and breakfast. I work at home on some days and on others I’m in the office (Covid rules and guidance permitting) for part of the day.

For three days a week, starting work (a boringly normal office job with very occasional visits to sites) just means going into the room where I’ve set up my office area and logging on. There is even the occasional prized day when I’m out in the open air for work. I’ve been really grateful for MS Teams and Zoom and suchlike; it’s great to be able to see the people I’m interacting with, it feels a lot more human than just voice calls. If I’m lucky I get introduced to their pets as well!

If it’s a ‘real office’ day then I head into the office after starting the working day at home. I avoid peak time travel, with my employers’ blessing, to avoid crowded public transport; I need to minimise my exposure to respiratory bugs. In the right light, our local bus stop looks positively idyllic (pictured) so long as you don’t look towards the road…

I’m lucky — I enjoy my job and I have wonderful colleagues, some of whom I’m proud to call real friends. There’s sometimes time for a quick catch-up after I’ve arrived and before I properly settle down to business. If I’ve gone in for a particular meeting, it may well be time to head into it before long.

I occasionally take a bit longer lunch break than usual on a ‘real office’ day to get a bit of fresh air with one or more of my friends. We keep our eyes peeled if we’re walking along the riverside path so that we don’t miss anything interesting — a friend and I actually saw a grass snake swimming across the river on one occasion!

On those ‘real office’ days, I head homewards at around the standard 5pm. If I am lucky, a bus might arrive soon after I’ve got to the stop, and if I’m even luckier it might actually be the bus I want. I like to catch up with a work-relevant podcast en route.

If I’ve got a late call planned on an office day I’ll head home mid-afternoon; in that case, it’s back into the home office and on with the next tasks on my ever-renewing, never-ending, list until it’s time for the call.

If I’ve been working at home, at the end of the day I’ll pack up and wander through for a few minutes to see what my Other Half is watching on television. If he’s watching a DVD that isn’t really my thing, I pick up whatever book I’m reading.

Do you remember this game? “What’s the time, Mr(s) Wolf?” “Dinner time!!” I enjoy cooking from scratch but on weekdays it’ll be something quick and easy. In all fairness, my partner does more than his fair share of the cooking.

Of an evening, I’ll watch television or wander up to my [personal] computer in the study to do the day’s Grauniad crossword and generally surf the net. My Other Half also wanders up to the study and does the stuff he normally does. Eventually, though, “Time for bed” says Zebedee*.

You know what? My days are just like anyone else’s days. Weekends are no more exotic or exciting than weekdays; they mostly involve the weekend shop or going for a walk. Sometimes even both!

Being trans doesn’t mean that you ‘live on the edge,’ or that you do exotic things all day every day. I don’t write every day by any means and most of the time I don’t even think about being trans. Our lives are just the same as anyone else’s, sometimes full of love and humour, sometimes a tad stressful — there’s work, there are bills to pay, there are family gripes like any other family has. There are workdays and weekends, there is housework, there is time enjoyed with my partner, there are catch-ups with friends and kin, there are hobbies to be enjoyed, there’s fresh air and sunshine… I’m a country mouse with the countryside within walking distance, so I can watch the wheat and barley from their first green shoots to golden harvest, or stand stock still in the hope that the deer won’t know I’m there while I’m watching them.

Life is good and I have never for one moment regretted at all taking the path I did. It was simply the right path, the only path, for me. My life is just more humdrum than people who don’t know anyone transgender might think! And what’s more, I like it that that way.

NB: This is probably not the most exciting piece you’ve ever read — but that’s the whole point! Everyday life for a trans person is just as mundane as it is for anyone else.

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*Google the 1960s Magic Roundabout if you’re not old enough to remember that line!