Make the Class of 2020 a Meaningful Omelet — Outlandish Ideas to Show True Support

So how about the recent Facebook phenomenon where of people of all ages are posting their senior pictures to show support for the Class of 2020? It’s a nice gesture, but it’s engendered legitimate criticism, because — let’s be honest — it takes near-zero effort and does nothing to significantly enrich or achieve anything for the Class of 2020.

The critics have a point. If you want to make a meaningful omelet, you’ve got to break a few eggs. A sincere show of support requires a concerted effort. It should hurt, involve sacrifice, or cost you something. At the very least, you should be willing to suffer some inconvenience for the cause.

With that in mind, here are 10 things you can do to demonstrate, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that you support the Class of 2020. Are they outlandish? Weird? Ill-advised? Juvenile? Well yes, but your blood, sweat and tears still mean far more to the Class of 2020 than an old senior photo ever will. (And tag any photos you post #MeaningfulOmelet2020, so the new grads can see who really cares about them!)

1

Go to a zoo with some clippers. Shave “Class of 2020” into the fur of the largest animal you can find.

2.

Send $20.20 to a member of the Class of 2020. If that’s too rich for your blood, sneak through your neighborhood in the dead of night and tape 20 cents — in any combination of coins — onto the car windshields of 20 households with members of the Class of 2020.

3.

Women, donate 20 eggs to a fertility clinic. Men, donate 20 million sperm to a sperm bank.

4.

Legally change your name to “Top Admirer of the Class Of 2020.” Or if that’s too cumbersome, change it to the acronym “TACO-20.” Alternatively, if you’re expecting a baby anytime soon, give your newborn that name.

5.

Post one photo each of 20 of your body parts on social media. (No repeating the same part.)

6.

Number a page from 1–20, then write the names of 20 members of the Class of 2020 you know. Time limit 20 minutes. If you can’t name 20, then for every blank, you must pluck out a nose hair and do a shot of Mad Dog 20/20.

7.

Take twice the recommended daily dose of a fiber supplement — such as Metamucil or Benefiber — every day for the remainder of the year 2020. Think of the Class of 2020 every time you enter a restroom.

8.

Send a thoughtful handwritten note to a member of the Class of 2020. It doesn’t have to be long or fancy. Share your wisdom and encouragement and incorporate a 2020 theme. (Example: “Theoretically, you still have time to experience 2,020 orgasms before you die.”)

9.

Slice your palm open with a sharp knife. Write “Class of 2020” in your blood on a nearby wall or mirror, snap a photo, then post it on every Class of 2020 Facebook page you can access.

10.

Get a permanent “Class of 2020” tattoo in a visible place. Exception: a tattoo on either butt cheek will do if the tattoo says “Ass of 2020.”

We love you, Class of 2020! #MeaningfulOmelet2020