Is He Worth Submitting To?
Disclaimer* I posted this on my radio show’s blog last week. But….well… can I be honest? Have you ever written something that you really felt was an awesome read that you ACTUALLY wanted feedback on? Well here’s my shot to get some more feedback. Enjoy…..
First off, let me begin by saying this is not some “I Hate All Men; I Am Feminist Hear Me Roar” think piece. This is honestly just a question that’s been on my mind for a few days, and I just need some feedback. K? Good.
I am a hopeless romantic. Although my previous love life has kicked my ass, I still have hope that someone out there will be my happily ever after. Unfortunately, dating over the age of 30 is pure, unfiltered hell. There’s almost always some major downfall to even the nicest guy (missing important teeth, his mom is “living with him”, etc). But no matter the circumstance, even the dustiest negro will poke out his chest and tweet about today’s women and their inability to submit.
Here’s the thing: I know that when I do find the right guy, I’ll have to put in serious effort to learn how to step back and let him lead me. In my previous relationships, I was always the bread winner, as well as the domestic one. So letting someone else be in control is just not something I’m familiar with. But it’s something that I do want.
BUT…….
Bruh, how am I gonna submit to you if you’re catching the bus while I’m driving down the freeway? How can you lead me when you’ve been living on someone’s couch while I’ve been maintaining a residence on my own? Don’t get me wrong, it’s not about who makes more or “brings home the bacon”. But you gotta bring something to the table (other than d*ck) if you’re supposed to be the head of the household.
If you’ve listened to our radio show, I’ve been completely honest about the dipshit decisions I’ve made when it comes to dating. I’ve always overlooked certain things that I feel a man my age should have (car, apartment, a light coin) because I understand that life happens. We all have rough patches, so who are me to judge?
The problem is, instead of being the Blac Chyna to his Rob Kardashian, I’m the Yvette to his Jody. Yes, I have let a man drop me off to work in MY car. Don’t judge me either heffa.
Realistically tho, if I’m giving you transportation and taking care of all of the bills, how in the hell am I supposed to submit to you? You gotta be able to lead yourself before you can lead me. And if I’m putting all of my time, effort, and $$$ into getting you on your feet, guess who the leader is in this equation.
What’s your opinion? Can Jahquan play his Xbox all day while you’re at work, but still be considered the head of your household? If he’s slanging mixtapes at Valero while you’re working to pay all of the bills, is it still your job to submit? Comment below or on the social media outlet that led to your post. We’re in a judgement free zone. :)