There is a personality type called the “grievance collector,” who remembers every last slight or misfortune he has suffered and knows who to blame for it. This attitude negates personal responsibility and creates a toxic persecuted “poor me” mentality that sometimes culminates in workplace shootings. I am unclear just how such a situation is fostered (probably a complex interplay of childhood nurturing or lack thereof and other coping mechanisms), but it is imperative that we become more responsive to its signs. In my experience, most people go through life unaware of anyone but themselves. They are focused on their own needs and their own problems. At the workplace, they focus on how everyone else affects THEM, not on how to get along and be part of a team or how to be friendly with others. Most people are not self-aware, and this is a problem that needs addressing in public spaces, as well as in education and child rearing.
I agree that men are taught to repress their feelings, and this is part of the problem, but it is only the surface of things. Some people are sociopathic and no level of education will turn on their empathy or compassion. They simply do not have any. So our methods of education and impressing social standards need to change. An interesting article. Made me think. Thanks!