08/ Between what is said and not meant…

We all say stuff at some point that we do not mean. And after 5 sec, 5 min, 5 hours we regret saying them, we start explaining ourselves and trying to pull back what was said.

Words are strong, more powerful that actions. Words can be hurtful, can praise you, can discourage you or help you. Words mean!

I am a quick talker. My mind has trouble following my mouth, always since I was a little girl. I shout, I scream, I talk fast, I wave with my hands, I am impulsive, I cry, I laught…. I say stuff I don't mean.

People around me get hurt. People around me walk away.

Here is my story for today.

I almost lost someone I really care about, actually I am not sure I still have that person I my life, but let say there is still hope. I said stuff in anger, while I was frightened, while I was far away and things were not in my control. I freaked out, I said irrational stuff, I screamed, I cried… I made a mess I made it worse.

30 minutes later I was alone… that person was gone…I lost the battle…

Saying stuff you don't mean leads to regret and than to overanalyzing shit and overthinking. Four days later I am drained, scared and lonely — this is how powerful words can be.

What I wanted to said that night was: “How are you? Are you feeling ok? Please write me something because I am scared and far and thinking if you are ok. I am sorry I am not there for you and sorry for pushing to know if you are ok. I am glad to see you….”

Come on!!! I couldn't say 5 fucking real sentences!

“Choose your words wisely “ — someone once said that with perpose.

  • Use words to explain the reasons, don't just speak.
  • Point out the positive maybe by accenting it or using a high tone of your voice.
  • Be impeccable with tour word. Through words we create everything,
  • Treat others the way you would like to be treated. Think about the way how you want to hear stuff and create a conversation based on that.

Some rules I will need to learn and keep. Some rules I need to obey. Some rules we all need to know.

The word is a force; it is the power to express and communicate, to think, and thereby create events in your life…you can create the most beautiful dream or you can destroy everything around you”.

This piece is part of the 30 Days Writing Challenge. During the next 30 days I will write short stories about my last days in this 2016! Thank you for reading it! Hope you liked it!

Last story — 07/ Reflecting old issues