Electrifying Ramblings
Today was one of those days that an introvert adores. There were no appointments, no plans, no expectations. I began my day with yoga on my own, followed with self-Reiki, and then some meditation. I swear, the very minute I lifted myself into an upright position from a blissful inner paradise, there was a phone call that set me on edge.
Why are our emotions so easily flipped from a station of easy jazz to heavy metal? I want that smooth flow 24/7!
I did what I said I was going to do, however. I paid attention to the thoughts and feelings. I am getting pretty good at acknowledging them at this point. Unfortunately I haven’t progressed to the point of knowing what to do with them once I discover they’ve taken over my brain. I can’t put myself in a meditative state all day! Although, that does sound appealing. For now, I’ll take escaping to this:

I have a lot more reading and learning to do. I did get to find out how sensitive I am to large doses of energy tonight. As I was sitting on the patio, a thunderstorm rolled overhead. For several seconds, I’d say upwards of 20, the hair on the back of my neck stood up Teen Wolf style. Immediately afterwards, something a couple blocks over was struck by lightning. From that point forward I would feel the tingle, then the flash would occur. I’m pleased to be picking up energy in any form possible.
Most sane people would take cover in storms such as these, but I’m still out here with my electronic device, sitting in a metal chair. I can’t think of a better way to exit this body than to be taken out by Mother Nature’s fury. It’s an absolutely beautiful storm and I wish I could capture it for you all to see, but my photographic skills aren’t adequate enough to portray its ominous glory.
I suppose the fact that I’m facing this storm head-on confirms I still don’t fear death. This has brought me to a different topic which I’ve touched on previously: long-distance hiking. I have far from enough gear, none in fact, but I really desire to encounter Mother Nature face to face for a few days. Everyone I’ve had the nerve to discuss it with thinks I’m out of my mind. No one sees the point or has the desire to do this, and I can only imagine the lecture on bears I would get from my sister!
I’m currently saving up my points to buy a small tent. It isn’t ideal for backpacking, but if nothing else I can pop it up and just hike out and back each day. I only want the bare essentials with me so that I can be alone with my inner madness.
It would also be a good time to introduce a longer fast. I’ve been doing great with fasting 18 hours a day and keeping all eating in a 6 hour window. Since I’m in ketosis, my body can just keep burning fat for energy. I do need to do more research on where to go, but as soon as I have a window of opportunity I’m taking myself to the woods for more than a few hours at a time.
I may not have a cave or Bodhi tree, but I still seek inner peace. Enlightenment may be too far of a reach for me in this life, but by the time I leave this body I want to know I did my best.
Tomorrow begins another journey with the start of the next section of a workshop. Hopefully it opens up a few more doors and allows me to receive more freely. It’s a wonderful opportunity that I never would’ve had if I’d stayed in Illinois. I know I was drawn here for a reason and it wasn’t to be crippled with depression and anxiety.
I will get better and find meaning in this thing called life.
May you all be filled with love and light.
-Brandi
