Part 1: Needs & Strategies — “Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing, and right-doing, there is a field. I will meet you there.” — Rumi Everybody argues. Whether it’s with your partner, best friend or colleague at work — we all have disagreements and fights. Fighting is inevitable. What isn’t inevitable is working through and dealing with…

“No need is more fundamentally human than our need to understand the meaning of our experience.” — Jack Mezirow Psychologists used to think that our development — the way we think and make meaning in our lives — peaked at adolescence. …

“We don’t have a word for the opposite of loneliness, but if we did, I could say that’s what I want in life”. — Marina Keegan A while back I read something that shocked me: When surveyed, most Americans say that they have zero confidants. That means that most Americans…

We’ve all been there. For example, we know there’s an important conversation we should be having with our partner - about money, sex, the relationship, you name it. We know this conversation could make things better. But it’s hard. So we don’t do it. Most of us delay doing hard…

“These alternate forms of consciousness might in spite of all the perplexity, be indispensable stages in our approach to the final fullness of the truth.” — William James In my research on meaning and development, I keep reading about the value of self-transcendent experiences (STEs). These are experiences (also referred…

Part 1: Purpose “The most meaningful lives, I’ve learned, are often not the extraordinary ones, they’re the ordinary ones lived with dignity.” — Emily Esfahani Smith I celebrated my birthday last week and, as usual, it had me thinking about my life. Specifically about how to live a meaningful life…

Part 1: Ego states and transactions — We’ve all experienced communication breakdowns. You know the feeling. One minute you’re having a normal conversation with someone, and the next you’re fighting or one of you has shut down. In both cases, there’s a breakdown. The conversation has failed to achieve its goal, whether it’s being heard, solving a…

In Part 1 I introduced a new way of viewing adulthood, based on Dr. Kegan’s Theory of Adult Development. According to Kegan, becoming an adult isn’t only about gaining new skills, status or money. It’s about becoming someone who doesn’t need others to tell them what to do, is self-directed…

Ever wondered what it means to be an adult? I’m not talking about buying guest towels or renters insurance. I’m talking about how we ought to be developing in adulthood. How should we perceive and engage with the world? Or handle conflict and interact with the people around us? With…