“Who are YOU to ‘check MY’ members?
Tonight, Pastor Stephen Thompson and his wife Jenelle held an interactive Bible Study in their home due to inclement weather. That in itself spoke volumes about their commitment to God & those they lead. This post isn’t about them per se. Pastor Thompson said this:
“There were/are a whole lot of people watching but it’s the Body’s responsibility to make sure that “one” person doesn’t fall.”
He continued to teach. We watched it again and the same chord struck within us that left us with the following “Church Checking Conundrum:”
- If you are a member of a church (this post can apply across all industries) and you are out of order spiritually, emotionally, etc..and another Leader sees you slipping and doesn’t say anything for fear of offending you or ‘going over your covering’s head’ because your Pastor didn’t see it, hear it or witness it in any way; where does that leave you?
- If you are a Leader and you do see someone out of order; even theologically or in any area of their walk; do you ever feel compelled to say something to help them get back on track so that they won’t fall? Or, do you casually sit back and watch them “wild out” until they spin out? If your answer is “yes;” do you then approach them directly or do you take it to their Leaders and let them do the “correcting in love?” Suppose their leader doesn’t see anything wrong with what they said or did but you know it’s not a good look for them because in some way you know them-know — not knew? I’ll give you an example: In 2014 I was in a conference pull out meeting and I said something that while true; was not scripturally “polished.” I said it with much zeal and just stating a fact. (zeal but not according to knowledge) Bishop Robert Christopher Brown listened to me and he closed his iPad and very carefully walked my zealous self right back to the Word. He had this look on his face like: “Bless her little heart. Let me help this child.” He said: “What you’re saying very well could be true; BUT — -You must take what you are saying and apply it to the Word. The Bible says… “_____” and what that means Sis is that you can’t just _____. There is a reason for ____. Does that make sense? Do you understand why now?” He waited patiently for me to get what he was saying as he corrected me from a loving place. I stepped back and said: “Oh wow. I messed up, huh? Oh my gosh I feel awful now.” He said: “No, don’t feel awful. Be enlightened and grateful for growth. I heard you and it’s clear your intent and yet you left some key things out that I personally don’t want to see you say that elsewhere and be embarrassed.”
I was SO grateful. Bishop Brown wasn’t, nor is he my Pastor, but that was such a turning point in my life that had he not stepped in; who knows where I would be on such an important issue? He’s not the only one that had the courage and the wherewithal to bring me and others back to center.
3. If your answer as Leaders is “No; they have a Leader. I don’t want to say anything or get involved and I certainly don’t want to offend them or upset their Leader and have to hear: “Who are YOU to “check MY members;” then what do we do? I don’t believe any Leader seeks out to “steal members” from other churches or organizations or companies. I do believe they may see something in people that could benefit them. Even in the latter; if we look at the world today and everything that’s going on; have we become desensitized and fearful or overly self-focused to the point that if we see people slipping we just let them fall? If we dare not get in the middle of their personal relationship with their God; do we dare not jump in the middle of their fight with the enemy knowing what could potentially happen if we don’t?
This is a precarious situation to us who are called “One Body, Jointly Knit Together.” No one wants to step out of bounds. Question: How do sports teams win championships? Does an offensive coach never correct a defensive player in drills and games and vice versa? What about schools? Can one teacher or administrator never correct (in love) a student who is wrong? Can they never assist a child who is not their student who may be struggling to handle the pressures placed on them when their teacher or advisor is absent? How will either of those parties grow and win?
It’s a totally different thing when someone who is doing the “correcting” is just mean and rude using baseless and selfish ambition to challenge a person. That’s a given and most Leaders will put that person “in check.” What about the attorney? Can the paralegal never tell another paralegal of that attorney what they did wrong or how they can improve because they work for a different partner but in the same firm with the same founding principles?
These are the questions we are left with tonight as much of the world is being blanketed by snow or forced to stare at “muddy waters.” What does ONE BODY do in times like these? Is it ok that we bloom where we are planted but run on social media for an “additional dose” from a Leader who isn’t necessarily assigned to us but run when correction comes from that source? Is it ok then for the members of this Body crafted by love to retaliate against a Leader who approaches them with: “You aren’t my Pastor/President/Teacher/Boss?”
Remember when anyone’s mother or father could spank your butt and take you home to your parents for a second spanking or bare minimum a lecture on proper behavior customized for your personal growth? What happened to wanting to see ALL grow versus “that one” fall? Have we abandoned our highest call: Love?
Respectfully,
Natasha Stevens