hot topics within Chinese society
There are three hot issues people discussing a lot recently in Taiwan:
- the courage to be disliked (中文:被討厭的勇氣)
- slash (中文:斜槓青年) (next article)
The Courage to be Disliked discussed here was written by the Japanese writers, Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga, since 2014. The whole ideology of this book is based upon the famous psychotherapist’s theory: Alfred Adler (1870 — 1937). His theory includes “inferiority”, “social interest”, and “style of life” etc. I guess that the reason why the book has become so popular since it was published in Japan and Taiwan among young generations is due to its very own title: to be DISLIKED.

In Eastern societies, especially countries under Confucianism (such as China, Taiwan, Japan, Korea, and Singapore), the criticism of self is quite common. That might result from we always criticizing each other all the time. When we were children, “Look! he is so shy”, “You are not pretty”, these kinds of judgments happened like something needed in our lives that eroding ourselves gradually. (It’s too complicated to analyze the origin of criticism in this article so I will create another one to continue the topic.) In the end, we are haunted to be disliked because to be hated is so easily done by someone nearby.

Actually, inferiority is a paradox system: if you care about others’ opinions on you too much, you are subject to suffering in criticism. But if you accept whether good or not opinions towards you, you will be free from them. Chinese people rely heavily on the relationships so that breaking or damaging a relationship with someone links to loneliness and misery. Therefore, we are inclined to stay peace with friends, family, and also strangers. As you may know, courage to be disliked doesn’t exist anymore under this condition.
Chinese culture embedded in the relationship-based environment. A person finishing a task in Chinese societies often requires others’ helps. For example, you arrived a new Chinese rustic county where you are not familiar with, and you wants to find a housekeeper to clean your new-built fancy house. The worst way is to search online because the one you find might have shitty ability for cleaning. People would recommend the best approach is to ask your neighbors. Here is the relationship begins.
