Stuck In The Rut Of Focus
Focus is an awesome strength. It allows me to get a lot done. Paradoxically I have discovered that it can be counter-productive if I don’t utilize it properly. Below are insights pertaining to how this strength can be a hinderance instead of a benefit if you aren’t in the know about your strength. For reference material read through the Themes and Ideas for Action section in the book Strengths Finder 2.0. (p. 93–95)
I love active and physical hands on jobs, which are frequently repetitious. Occasionally I find myself feeling anxious and/or frustrated for no apparent reason with the repetition only to realize in hindsight that these feelings were due to not having a clear destination or objective in mind while I was working that job or in that moment. Perhaps I did not get why I was being encouraged to work faster or harder when I did not see any valid reason for going beyond the effort I was already putting. For me these feelings are a signal that I am not utilizing my focus strength properly.
In the above example my “negative” emotions were trying to tell me that my focus was starting to grind against other strengths of mine, resulting in me being less happy or fulfilled, in this case achiever and discipline. Sure I can stay focused while doing something repetitive as I love staying busy and being active due to having Achiever and Discipline. However, when I do not have clear goals set, my focus strength gets worried about me wasting my energy or time. And that ends up raising my blood pressure.
With regards to social interactions and interpersonal relationships, I have found it can be difficult to invest in the intangible requirements to make and maintain healthy relationships due to having focus. For instance just being present and available can be harder for me to achieve naturally as my Focus wants to ensure that I am doing something meaningful and not getting distracted by trivial things — which is a harder to do when I am told to just chill and be in the moment. Or I find my mind wondering as I realized I don’t believe being 100% present is going to change the outcome of x, y, or z event similar efforts in the past haven’t produced the results I want- like going to a bunch of dating activities and still finding myself single.
To be fair, this itch to remain proactive has been beneficial in identifying people I get along with verses those I don’t. However I have to remind myself that relationships are more of a journey and experience with another person, instead of a clear-cut benefit/cost transaction. People that I never would have guessed I would become best friends with or have had epic experiences with resulted from me finding a balance between not wasting my efforts while being open to taking risks. (Typically making the friendship or relationship on my journey towards some goal of mine).
Even when I am with those who are just as driven and focused as I am, I have to remind myself that not everything in life can be controlled or achieved through sheer grit and focus. I have notice my own temper and others with this strength rise when facing these reality checks. So I remind myself that a lot of joy I have had in life has been found in the journey with these people instead of the actual accomplishment or destination. Often times this is due to the fact that something or someone (myself included) changed.
So what might the triggers or “ruts” of Focus look like? To paraphrase from the book, focus triggers can be anything dealing delays, obstacles or tangents of whatever kind because they are not helping you move towards your goals. Frustration is towards these things is the visual feeling, so to speak, to indicate your Focus strength isn’t happy with how others or life is getting in-between you and your objective.
You may observe the indicating sign/feeling of frustration after accomplishing something because the result did meet the quality versus quantity that was the real drive behind your efforts. If this is the case it can be helpful to keep in mind what your why or purpose is so that your focus can then ensure that you disregard elements in your efforts that would ultimately not be of value to you.
A harsh but valid social signal is others commenting that you are very blunt, rude, and inconsiderate of their needs, ideas, work, or thoughts while being oblivious to your own shortcomings.
For instance, you might find yourself being less than productive by getting too focused in one life area and causing other life areas or opportunities to suffer because you let yourself get sucked into whatever thing you were doing at the time. Yet you are very open handed about giving advice to others. The iconic movie scene reflecting this point is the found in Flubber, where the absent minded Professor becomes so engrossed in discovering flubber that he misses his own wedding.
In regards to relationships you may find yourself butting heads with others who is strengths do not lie and productivity and in efficiency –like those with futuristic strengths. You just cannot see how their strengths are really strengths at all.
If this is the case, it may help to remind yourself that not everything has to be efficient or productive, in order to have value and be worth your time or effort. In fact, it can be beneficial to use your focus to look for points of improvement that you may have missed from others imagination or seemingly random detours.
Ultimately, when you notice that you are feeling stressed or anxious, pause to review your priorities with regards to whatever is that the root cause of your stress. This will allow your focus to then take actionable steps towards being productive and gaining traction to help you move forward.
If ultimately nothing can be done at the moment to improve and move forward with your goals in one life area, use your strength to work on other things or goals that you can do something about right now. After all, the one consistent thing in life is change and focus to focus in on one thing.
