Day 201 — A Letter to Myself

Hey Nathaniel,

It’s been nearly a month since you opened up medium to publish anything. That’s not how a 365 project is supposed to work but I think I can let it slide for you. I know this year has been hard and incredibly testing but I want you to know that I believe in you. I believe that you can get through this. I believe that you can be what you want to be. You can help people, you can enjoy life, you can be happy.

Remember the people that are close to you. The people that you share your most precious memories with, the people that you love and care for and want to do right by. Some are family, some are friends but you love them all the same and that’s a beautiful thing. Above all else, remember that you are loved. Remember that for everything you give out to the world, it needs to come back to you as well. I don’t want you to get hurt, I don’t want you to not get anything back because you deserve so much more than that. You are special.

It’s hard to continue navigating this world without a map but you’re not the only one out there that’s doing it like this, trust me. It’s at times like this when you call on those people that care for you. They will help you if you give them a chance. That’s all people need sometimes, a chance.

Speaking of chances, there’s two little people that haven’t seen enough of you this year, and that is your fault. You can’t change your Dad. The Family isn’t perfect but it’s still family, it’s blood. Don’t deny yourself a relationship with your sisters for the sake of pride or not wanting to have difficult conversations. Time is a healer but it can also add more flames to a fire too. Stop being silent, speak up.

Next up is another thing that’s been bothering you. Work. You’re scared of getting it wrong again. Scared of putting a foot in the wrong direction and feeling like you’ve wasted your time. Don’t let fear rule your life, don’t let it stop you. You’ve got this, you can do this. You can try new things. Yes, you may get it wrong but you won’t know what’s right if you don’t look. It’s time to put your foot forward and march on to what’s next. You know there’s nothing for you in what you’re doing right now so don’t continue to rely on something that doesn’t make you happy or feel good.

Go for it.

That’s all the advice that I have for you today, friend.