Day 231 — Learning

Jordan Rakei has a song about love called ‘Nerve’. The chorus reads:

How can I find a reason to love you, when I don’t love myself?

I can’t get these 14 words out of my head at the moment. I keep them in the back of my mind while I navigate my relationships that are both physical and digital.

I set myself some goals this year, one of them was to be happy with my body. The only time I looked in the mirror and was happy with what I saw was in 2012 when I was actually under-eating and underweight but super-fit. It wasn’t a good match and I don’t want to go back to that.

I, like everyone else my age, watched What The Health and decided to make a greener change to my life, more veg, and more life. I’m just trying to eat healthier overall. It’s going to be a slow transition for me, but I’m excited to see the results of a healthy lifestyle and regular exercise.

I’m proud of myself for the changes that I’ve made so far and it’s helping me be kind to myself. I guess that’s where love starts anyway.

I’m still trying to figure out how to love myself, how to build myself up in times of need and darkness, how to navigate the City and grab opportunities to move my career forward. How to be a good friend, and one day a good partner, fiancé, husband, father and everything in-between.

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I'm a writer/workshop facilitator/co-founder/researcher from East London. I talk about my Mental Health and self development…a lot

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