Day 7 — Running on autopilot

Hey,

Today I woke up, went to work, met up with friends and then went home. I had a numbness about me for some reason. It was like I was just watching myself do stuff today. Remember Men in Black where there’s the little dude controlling the body? I was the little dude but my hands weren’t moving anything. I was just laying back watching things unfold in front of me.

My teaching was off at points and that’s not good for anyone, especially me. I want to be a good swimming teacher. I think the severity of the week hit me today and I internally removed myself from life a bit today.

I slowly made my way home on my bike and took the longer, more scenic route along the canal, just to get away from the normalities in my route. I tried to snap out of being on autopilot by changing my surroundings and it didn’t really work. I wish I really knew why days like today happen.

As I sat in bed watching Big Bang Theory I heard the sky start to crack and rain hit the streets below. Minutes before this, The Sun was shining brightly in the sky and I could hear kids playing. It just changed so suddenly when the rain and thunder hit. That change in weather gave me some hope. Not because it got cloudy, rainy and shitty in an instant but because it all changed so quickly.

I think change in my life is out there, it might just hit me like when I get caught in the rain on a day where I’m simply going through the motions too.