Mind Craft Ep. 5 | ‘Interview’

“So, why do you want to work here?” he enquires, awaiting another rehearsed response that is probably far from the truth. I prepare to fire my ammunition of lies in a way that is creative enough that he might just ignore the fact it’s complete bullshit. “Well”, I say as I take aim, “the opportunity to be a part of such a well regarded company is definitely a huge reason, as the reputation you’ve built is fantastic”. An obvious answer, of course, especially considering I’m struggling to remember what this company actually does. Plus, it’s best to ease in my enthusiasm slowly.

“Also”, I continue, attempting to apply some icing to the cake, “this job seems very challenging, and one of my biggest fears is ending up in a career that fails to challenge me every day”.

“Hmm, OK, that’s great”, he says. Boom. The impressed grin that slides across his face indicates that first shot hit home — a good start. He then questions me about what makes me different to the other candidates. I don’t know; who are they? How can I compare myself to people I don’t know? What a strange question to ask. Regardless, I reply with the words that make up my personal statement; blah, blah, blah, I’m very ambitious. Blah, blah, blah, I’m hardworking. Basically, all the things you are required to say if you want a job.

“What would you say your strengths are?” he requests. Absolutely nothing related to this role, but I can’t just stare at him. “Hmm…” I murmur to gain some time, “Probably my organisational skills and my abilities as a leader”, I claim proudly, although it sounds more like I’m trying to be the captain of a football team than it does a… Wait, what was this role again?

“And what would you say are your weaknesses?” Now, I have got to be careful with this one, because I don’t actually want him to think I have weaknesses, instead, I want him to think I have resourcefulness. “I would say I’m a bit of a perfectionist, you know? Very meticulous with even the simplest of tasks, which can sometimes be a hindrance. Just a bit -”

“Anal?” he says interjecting my sentence.

“Well”, I say hesitantly, “anything to get the job, I suppose”.

He laughs. I laugh. We laugh. I got a laugh, but I did not get a job. Maybe I need to re-think my career path.

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