10 Things I’ve Learned After 10 Years

My husband and I recently celebrated our 10 year anniversary. It seems strange that we are celebrating our 10th year, especially since year 1, 3, 4, and 8 were all particularly difficult.

Yet, here we are.

10 years is an especially big milestone for me, because I never really thought I would get married. I thought myself to be way too cool and way too anxious to make that kind of commitment.

Yet, here we are.

So without further context, here are the 10 things I have learned after being married for 10 years:

  1. Dishes aren’t that important. Laundry isn’t that important. However, showing someone your appreciation on a daily basis is very important. Sometimes that comes through loading the dishwasher, cooking, and folding clothes.
  2. It’s okay to let people see who you are — especially if you took vows, exchanged rings, and live with people. I’m a guarded person. My husband wants to break down these walls (bow-chicka wow-wow), and sometimes I allow him to do that. Sometimes I work to get them down on my own. Either way, he deserves to see all my cards.
  3. Therapy works wonders. Individually and couply.
  4. Balance and perspective are necessary.
  5. Carrie had the right idea with the separate apartment. My husband and I don’t have separate homes, and we don’t sleep in separate beds. But every now and then we enjoy our own spaces. We do this for clarity, to keep us grounded, and really to come down from the day/week/month. It usually goes like this: “Do you need some down time?” And one of us will respond yes or no. If it’s yes, we kiss and enter our spaces. If it’s no, we usually start up the Xbox.
  6. Couples need to do fun things together. Those rough years were full of way too serious times. We weren’t friends, we were just spouses. We didn’t have fun, we didn’t laugh that much.
  7. Communication is necessary.
  8. The kid(s) will not kill us. Happy spouses make happy parents. This one is pretty self-explanatory.
  9. Spirituality is necessary. My husband and I pray with our daughter. We pray together. We pray alone. Even though we differ a bit on organized religion, we both work on ourselves spiritually, and we have a strong spiritual base for our marriage. It’s clutch.
  10. Therapy. Works. Wonders.
  11. Also, sex. If we’re able to do it, that’s likely what we’re doing. It’s a way to connect, it’s a different way to show love and affection, and it’s so. much. fun.

So I gave you 11.